Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Art of a Buttered Biscuit

The Art of a Buttered Biscuit

by gina below

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The warm soft scents tickled me awake and I woke up smiling as my eyes slowly fluttered opened and closed. I had just been dreaming about warm buttered biscuits and I smiled to myself as I slid out from under the covers and made my way groggily down the hall. The early morning sun was coming through the kitchen window making it bright and cheery. She stood at the stove like she did every morning and I sidled up next to her and leaned my sleepy head against her free arm. She automatically put her arm around my shoulder and hugged me close. “Good morning” she said as she smiled down at me. “Did you sleep well” she asked? I nodded my head as it leaned against her but no spoken words formed in my dreamy head. A big yawn escaped as I watched her scramble a cast iron skillet full of fluffy eggs.

The bacon warmed on the back of the oven and I stood on my tippy toes and snuck a long crispy piece, or so I thought. I sneaked a peek up at her and knew I had been caught as she smiled down at me. “Will you butter the biscuits for me,” she asked? I eagerly nodded as I shoved the last bit of bacon into my mouth very unladylike and I smile up at her. “Go wash your hands and face” she insisted. I walked over to the kitchen sink and stretched as far as I could to turn the faucet on; proud of myself I was that I no longer needed the little step stool to reach it.

She took advantage of the fact that I was busy and reached into the hot oven to pull out her well used round cast iron griddle full of hot golden perfect piping hot buttermilk biscuits. I heard her settle the heavy pan on the old wooden trivet on the large wooden kitchen table and as I turned around wiping my wet hands on the front of my night shirt she handed me an old clean dish towel to dry them on instead. She pulled a butter knife out of the drawer and picked the butter up off the counter and set it next to the hot biscuits for me. As I took the knife she handed me she covered the still hot handle of the griddle with a folded dish towel and then reminded me again how hot it was. I nodded as I concentrated on slicing chunks of butter off to slid between the flaky halves and after about the second or third one I began to giggle as the butter began sliding off the hot knife before I got it to the waiting biscuit. “I think I am using too much butter” I complained, as once again my feeble attempts were foiled as the chunk of butter slid off the hot knife again. This time it landed on the still hot griddle and quickly melted around the biscuit bottoms. She laughed and said, “I don’t think you can use too much butter” as she set the kitchen table. She set a plate in front of me with scrambled eggs and bacon on it, and then she broke open a steaming biscuit and swiftly buttered it adding her homemade strawberry jelly to it to create a heavenly confection like no other.

I quickly abandoned my attempts to help with the biscuits in favor of the perfect hot buttered biscuit with her jelly on it that called to me from my plate. She quickly buttered a few more and left some unaltered as not everyone like buttered biscuits she had told me once. I remember that I had looked at her so startled that she had laughed. We sat there just the two of us in the early morning light of an ordinary day and enjoyed the art of the perfect buttered biscuit together.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

THERE BE DRAGONS

The half-man, half-woman stood at the back of the stage. He or she, I wasn’t sure which, wore a full skirt and a shirt and tie. I thought I noticed a slight swell of breasts. A dozen or so people in front of the stage waited for something, but I didn’t know what. The men, coal miners most of them, wore overalls or blue jeans. They bent forward and hacked shards of blackened lungs into red bandanas to hide the blood. Their women, some holding children by the hand, wore pageboys and clean print dresses.

The carnival was in town and my sister Vonnie and I talked Grandma into letting us go. We each got a dollar to spend, plus we’d broken our piggy bank and split another dollar and thirty-two cents. Grandma was still hanging in the car window giving my brother Hursey instructions, and us too, as Grandpa pulled out of the driveway. This was the first time she’d let him look after us; he was sixteen, my sister Vonnie eleven, and I was nine. As soon as Grandpa dropped us off, Hursey took off with his best friend, Billy Johnson, making us promise to meet in an hour at the big beacon light that fanned over the town every night, beckoning people to come.

The barker called out to us: Try your luck right here. Bust three balloons and take your pick from that bottom shelf for just one thin dime. Everybody wins and nobody loses. Come on over here, Blondie, win that kewpie doll you been eyeing.

Flush with money and raring to spend it, Vonnie tried for the kewpie doll with the curl on its forehead, but after spending thirty cents and only winning a paddle-ball and two kazoos, she gave up.

We scuffed through the sweet smelling sawdust to the refreshment stand and bought hot dogs and orange pop, eating as we gawked up at the rusty old ferris wheel. We stopped at the carousel and Vonnie climbed on a prancing palomino while I mounted a wild black steed with flashing red eyes.

The music from the calliope trailed us down the midway as we hurried to the meeting place, but the guys weren’t even there. We walked to the end of the midway before Vonnie spotted them standing near a rickety stage, gaping up at hoochie-coochie girls. The women wore skimpy skirts and fishnet stockings with holes in them and sequined halters on top. They had painted their shoes with gilt, black streaks showing through the brush marks on their high heels. Puckering their lips and making kissy sounds, they gyrated to music that thrummed and thumped through the loudspeakers. One girl tapped to the front and did a routine to Chattanooga Shoeshine Boy, spreading a mouth smeared with red lipstick in the direction of the men, her tongue licking out around bad teeth.

Soon the barker shooed the girls into the tent behind the stage and started his pitch: You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. Come on inside where the real show is about to begin. It’s gonna be the best two bits you’re ever gonna spend. Yes sirree, you’ll be down on your knees thankin’ me. Last call, gentlemen, show’s gonna start in two minutes.

The men and boys swiveled their heads as they snaked hands into pockets to fish out a quarter. Seeing hoochie-coochie girls wasn’t anything I was interested in when I could see a real live alligator man and a two-headed chicken right down the midway. Hursey and Billy each bought a ticket, making me pinky swear I’d never tell, and I wouldn’t, because that would be the end of us ever going anywhere with him again. Hursey and Vonnie were always saying I was dumb, but I wasn’t that dumb.

Vonnie and I still had money to spend, so we bought cherry snow cones piled high with ice and drenched with sticky red syrup that dripped onto our patent leather shoes. We walked the length of the midway again, spending what was left of our money to buy tickets to the freak show that promised not only the alligator man and the two-headed chicken, but a half-man, half-woman pictured right next to the fat lady on the huge hand-painted posters hanging behind the stage.

Holding hands tight, we clambered down boards laid for a ramp into the tent. A huge woman lolled in a chair, her natural bulk made bigger by horsehair padding you could see a little of poking out of her sleeves. Sweat teared down her face, washing tracks through makeup that had been applied with a heavy hand. The two-headed chicken walking around in a cage and the scaly alligator man both looked real enough to me, but I didn’t know how to tell if the coal black figure stretched out in a coffin was a genuine petrified man.

A midget dressed in a clown suit ran around in the audience doing handstands. Sometimes he bent down and looked up the women’s dresses, honking a horn and covering his eyes every time he did it. One woman cussed at him and kicked him in the knee, but he laughed and pretended it didn’t hurt.

Never looking at anybody in the audience, the man-woman walked to the front of the stage. It kept its face turned toward the naked bulb that hung from a cord in the center of the tent as it lifted its skirt to expose a fingerling of pink flesh dangling from a furry nest. A flash, then the skirt dropped. When it spun around and walked away, a sign on its back declared I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I AM. A few hoots and catcalls started up and died away.

Vonnie and I turned and ran back up the ramp as fast as we could, the boards bouncing under our feet. I tripped and fell, Vonnie still clutching my hand and dragging me along before I regained my footing. I hadn’t even felt the splinter pierce my knee, but when she pulled it out, bright red blood and cherry snow cone juice mingled on my white Easter shoes and anklets.

My face flushed every time I thought about what I’d seen, and I thought about it most of the time. To tell the truth, I worried myself sick about the particulars of that peculiar body. Was it called a he or a she? How did it sound when it talked? Would it have a husband or a wife? Would it be a mommy or a daddy? Which bathroom did it use?

I called the man-woman ‘it’ in my head. Although I knew in my heart that was wrong, I didn’t know what was right. Grandma might know, but I couldn’t ask her without telling on myself, and Vonnie refused to talk about it at all. Thinking about it made me uneasy, so I decided to put it out of my mind and, for the most part, that worked. An occasional image resurfaced, not of what I’d seen, but of something else, some disturbing thing I could not name.

Hursey gave the kewpie doll he won at the carnival to Vonnie so she wouldn’t tattle to Grandma about the hoochie-coochie girls, and he talked Billy into giving me a yoyo, for the same reason, I suspected. Hursey gave Grandma a green glass bowl and she served potato salad in it that night and from then on.

From my bed I watched the beacon wag an accusing finger across the dark heavens. I got on my knees and said now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep if I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.

I knew I had crossed some line that was invisible, and it was too late to turn back. A picture in my brother’s geography book showed a map of the world in ancient days. There were known countries and continents; the rest of the map had the words BEYOND THERE BE DRAGONS.

There was no warning sign, no caution light, no line drawn in the sand.

I had wandered into dragon territory.

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Drema Hall Berkheimer won First Place Nonfiction and First Honorable Mention Nonfiction in the 2010 WV Writers Conference Competition. She is published in WV South, The Beckley Register-Herald Divine Magazine. Plain Spoke, Flashquake, Brevity, Long Story Short, Persimmon Tree, Babel Fruit, Burnt Bridge, Southern Women’s Review, Muscadine Lines, and The Dead Mule, and has work forthcoming in River Poets Journal and others. She is writing a memoir, Running On a Red Dog Road, about growing up in post-Depression West Virginia, the child of a father who was killed in the coal mines, a Rosie the Riveter mother, and devout Pentecostal grandparents. She does readings for groups and has judged various literary competitions. She is affiliated with WV Writers, Salon Quatre, and The Writer’s Garret in Dallas. dremagirl@aol.com

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Trinity

Trinity
Jason Stuart

Culloden County, Mississippi - 1975

It wore Mary-Alice slam out that she was actually raising her son inside a barn. “It’s a loft,” her boyfriend—not husband—Hank always said. “A loft inside of a barn,” she would argue. It was bad enough to be still unmarried and with a three year-old but to live in an upstairs apartment of the Pickford’s old feed barn was absolutely for shame.

She stood on the balcony overlooking Hank’s pride and joy red Chevrolet. Sometimes it was all she could do not to beat in the windshield with a baseball bat. One of these days she would buy one. If she had any money.

Tommy, their miracle-son—some miracle; he nearly ate them broke on a regular basis. Mary-Alice could not believe how much that child could eat—was busying himself jerking the slats off the stairwell going up to the apartment. All that food went immediately as fuel for him to perform some near superhuman feat of property damage and Hank had long forbade the child from getting near the car. She was hell getting him stopped tearing up the steps when Hank came sprinting into the barn to his car and hopping inside in a panic.
“What in hell has got into you now?” Mary-Alice said.

“County done got ’em a motorcycle cop. We seen him ride past the store. Ain’t got time to gab. Austin’s probly done beat me to him, the shitass.”

Hank shot his pipes and tore out of the barn leaving Mary-Alice nearly in tears from the racket and worried to death for the baby’s eardrums. But, of course, rather than being one ounce concerned, he was just sitting there giggling like it was the best thing in the whole world, which added fire to her greatest fear that he would turn out just like his daddy.
It wasn’t so much that Mary-Alice didn’t like Hank or even that she didn’t love him. She did love Hank. She loved him to death. There was just no knowing Hank’s mind for her. One moment he was the sweetest boy in the world and the next twenty minutes he was awfullest son-of-a-bitch who ever walked. No doubt at that particular minute him and that cracked Austin Grantham were trying to see who couldn’t wreck that poor man just trying to do his job. He’d probably wind up thrown off into a ditch and maybe crippled and those two having a laugh about the whole deal. One of these days they’d catch those two and likely kill them if they could.

Directly, Tommy was tugging at her dress again which meant it was time to eat some more.

Willy and Agnes Smith had given her a crate of eggs just the other day. Seeing her barn was just down the way from their store, she often had little else to do and walked over and swept up or did other jobs and took pay in the form of vegetables and milk. Sometimes Willy might slaughter a hog and have fresh sausage. Willy didn’t like to sell any food out of the store that he didn’t know exactly who and where it come from. Austin usually brought in two or three dozen eggs to trade for his day’s gasoline.

Willy wouldn’t take anything from up in Jasperville. Not one thing. Poor luck for those people, Mary-Alice always thought. But they had their own store, she reckoned.
It didn’t take too long to fill the boy up with scrambled eggs and milk and Mary-Alice pointed him up the quarter mile driveway covered nearly over with drooping pine limbs. The boy went off like a shot and she tried her damnedest to keep up with him. It irritated the fire out of her how she could not have him fed five minutes and him already running so hard he was hungry again.

And fast. By god, could that boy beat a trail. It was all the exercise she needed staying next to him at a run and this time he’d long left her behind. Mary-Alice had not been too often around other toddlers before but believed a great deal about her son was not very normal and she feared the day he got so big she flat out couldn’t handle him, a day she expected probably some time in the next year at the rate he went.

Before she could get close to catching up he was nearly to the highway and she screaming for him to stop to no purpose. He dusted straight across the road and smack into some scraggly-haired old man in a porkpie and toting a Jap army sword on his shoulder.
“I say there, now, do you know who I am?” the man shot at little Tom, who most certainly did not know who the man was, but clearly the man neither knew who Thomas Waylon Grady was. Memorizing the three parts of his own name was one of the very first conscious acts of his life. He very much enjoyed repeating just those three words at every occasion he deemed suitable, which was most, this being one of them.

“I’m Tom Waylon Grady,” the spud shot at the man, with fists balled and back bowed out for a fight.

“I say, but you ain’t kneehigh to a gumstump, you little squirt, and say now, what’s the matter with yore skin?” the man asked, looking down now at the boy’s physique which appeared to be rippled with tiny muscles and little else of note.

“I apologize, mister, but he just gets away from me sometimes. I hope you weren’t scuffed terrible when he tripped you. I can mend or wash any tears to your clothes if need be,” Mary Alice spat out as best she could, being out of breath from her jog.

“Me? Scuffed terrible? Woman, do you know who I am?” he asked with even more force. “I am Wild Bill Scanlon and this here,” holding out his sheathed sword. “is Mr. Kujiko.”
“I think it’s silly, you men naming things that ain’t alive. And I don’t guess I care if you’re Wild Bill Hickock Jesse James the Kid, neither. I’ve had it to here,” she said lifting her hand above her head, “with you overgrown boys and your reputations and your toys.”
And at that, Mary-Alice tugged little Tom by the arm and began to drag him toward the store where she would now need to buy herself a pack of cigarettes.

“Well, but you’ve sass, that’s sure,” Bill said. “Now, don’t get riled at me, too hard, now. I just feel I should mention the name as I intend to be your next supervisor. Do you vote?”
“Not usually,” she said, continuing on her way.

“Well, now that just beat all. I swear, you women are the damnedest creatures that ever was. That riles me to no end y’all hollering and fightin’ them years to vote and then don’t care to do such once you're able. That‘s just flat irritating.”

“Well, if you’re my best option, I’d just as soon not care. Now, I apologize again for my son hitting you, but I must say good day, Mr. Wild Bill.”

Bill was clearly at a loss. He could not remember the last time anyone had talked to him with as much sass, never a woman, and surely what man it must have been had quickly regretted it to be sure. Not that he had any mind to lay out a woman in any way, but some understanding ought be reached, else it would shortly get round the holler and soon the whole county that Wild Bill Scanlon had been talked tall to by a skinny, black-haired girl.
“Now, see here, again. I believe we’ve got this thing back end frontwards. How’s about I walk you out to Willy and Mrs. Agnes’s here and we’ll set down and have us a cup of coffee and some ice cream and talk it out?” he asked, then pointed his glance at the boy. “What about you, son, what’s your opinion about ice cream?”

At that, Tommy took off in a sprint toward the store. That’s where ice cream, he knew, came from and so he intended not to lose a minute in getting his share.

“Well, he’s a cooking little son of a gun, ain’t he?” Bill said and as he thought a minute, added, “Who’s his daddy?”

Wild Bill flung the door to Smith’s Farm Supply open with his free hand and pounded into the main meeting area. Willy had designed the front of the store to include two long benches with a small table toward one side and had the spot pretty well filled most every morning with idle chatters sucking on five cent coffee and telling big lies. Bill was what you might call an irregular. He only swung through once in a while when he was down in this part of the county. He was a walking man and a rambler.

“Put on a fresh pot of coffee, Willy,” Bill hollered as he set his sword beside the bench and took his seat next to Charlie Ford. “I’m here to do a little politicking.”

Mary-Alice slipped in behind Bill with Tommy holding her hand. He would run straight up to the front door of the store but would never go inside it without an escort. There was a fat man named Rodney who hung about often enough inside who had a tendency to knuckle-rub his head, which severely irritated Tommy, and he fully intended to box the fellow as quick as he could muster the height to perform the chore. In the meantime, Tommy had to content himself with hiding behind his mother’s skirt which was a shameful act of cowardice, he knew, but his only recourse for the moment.

“Bill, you do as you please, but no roughhousing inside and you keep that dern blade to yourself,” Willy said with Agnes looking on. Agnes liked Wild Bill just a hair less even than other folks because she firmly believed he’d drug Willy off to see a slant-eyed whore during the war. And even though she hadn’t even met her husband before then, she still considered it a vile act of infidelity on his part.

“Willy, I can’t help it if you’re now jealous of my butcher knife since you hocked yours up immediately. Besides, this here‘s what they call one of them aphro-disiacs,” Bill said winking at Mary-Alice and her trying her best not to laugh. She wondered if anyone else knew that word. “That’s one of them new ten dollar words. Means it makes you randy, though, what it has to do with colored people, I have no idea.”

Agnes hmphed to herself and turned back to do some chore back toward her filing cabinet near where she kept the cigarettes. She didn’t care for any word, regardless of price, that had anything at all to do with folks being randy. It was only a short road from such topics to discussions of whores and she intended to have no talk of whores in her presence.
“Bill,” Willy started, “a silly silver-studded dress up knife don’t do me a lick of good whereas eighty acres and a solvent seed business does me plenty.”

“Yeah, well, I get this supervisor office this time, we’ll all be doing good and plenty. Time’s a changing, Willy. Yankees tearing up the country. Charlie, you going out to the polls?”

“Well, Bill,” Charlie began.

“‘Well, Bill’ nothing. You want to keep this country for country folk, you’d best make your mark next to old Bill Scanlon. Yessir. Good Old Bill Scanlon for Good Old Country Folk!”

Mary-Alice had laid twenty five cents on the counter for her a 7up and the boy an ice cream sandwich. Tommy was good about not making a mess with it. He hated to lose even a drop. Waste not want not was one of his many mottoes. Turn the other fellow’s cheek was another.

Agnes shot glances two or three times at Mary-Alice when she wasn’t frowning at Bill’s gab. Mary-Alice knew some folks around judged her pretty black for having taken up with Hank. It was bad enough he never got called up to the fight, but that way he carried on and brought shame down on his good father’s name put a sour taste in many a mouth. And then them yet unmarried. A just as sour note for Mary-Alice herself.

Fact was, Mary-Alice’s own people had told her not to bother coming back home 'til that man put a ring on her finger and the two took on an honest lifestyle. From her time so far with Hank, she knew full well that was not likely to happen any time soon. Tommy hadn’t even helped it along even a bit. That had been a shoddy gambit on her part, for sure, though she now doted on the boy, messed up as he was.

She had at least taken to wearing skirts and sun dresses most days she went out for her walks through the country. Unwed mothers were bad enough without sporting jeanpants on top of it. There, she and Hank at least agreed that certain ideas ought to be changed. She liked her jeans, when she got to pick them.

Sucking down the last of his ice cream, Tommy was recharged and bolted toward the back of the store where he knew there were hammers and other tools for him to mess about with. Tommy loved tools, hammers in particular. He liked the way it made his arms and back feel when he lifted them and swung them around his head. He had got in trouble one time when he had the big hammer Willy used to fix folks’ tires with and was slamming it down on the floor and making an awful racket.

As Wild Bill continued on his filibustering concerning the dangers of unchecked northern aggression, Mary-Alice heard again the unmistakable bawl of Hank’s Killafella teamed up with whatever Austin Grantham was racing these days. The two kept up a pretty mean rivalry and while Hank just wasted money on new and even more useless parts for his existing vehicle--because spending the money on milk and eggs would be just foolish--Austin had the even odder tendency to just trade for a whole different car every year or so. But, Austin didn’t yet have any kids to feed. At least none in this country.
“No, it’s because you’re a cheating ass,” Hank said cruising through the door and straight over to the RC cooler for a root beer and pack of nabs--his standard lunch. Willy and Agnes both harrumphed at the sight of Hank’s flared-out jeans and his old gaudy hat flopping atop his head. While it had been mildly cute in high school, Mary-Alice only found it laughable now. It seemed as though Hank had drawn up the cartoon version of himself long ago and was dead set for sticking to it.

“Losers always weep, Hank,” Austin said, grabbing his own victuals and signaling to Mrs. Agnes that Hank--apparently being the loser of whatever competition they’d just had--should cover his tab. “Howdy, Bill, what you know good?” Austin continued.
Hank shot a look over toward the benches and saw the unmistakable wild hair and trademark long blade leaning against the seat and was already quick losing his characteristic studied detachment.

“Bill?”

Wild Bill Scanlon looked up to acknowledge Austin and saw Hank from the corner of his eye.

“I say, but it’s old sally jeans. How do, boy? Had any homemade get-up-and-go juice of late? My sister’s grandbaby, she still asks after you quite a bit,” Bill said with a chuckle, though most others just passed it off.

Hank winced and flinched at the same time and then looked toward the door. “Sugar-babe, I’ll see you back at the house,” he said and laid a dollar on the counter and was out the door. Within seconds they all heard the sound of his engine barking and tearing down the road.

Mary-Alice wondered what must have passed between Hank and Bill for Hank to be so out of sorts with the man. Of course, she had heard the usual tales about Wild Bill Scanlon being the terror of Culloden County, but all that was before the war and now that she’d met him he just appeared to her another worn out old hick just all like all the others in this part of the country. In some ways she thought, as she looked on at the wild silver-haired man with the thick mustache drooping down beneath his chin, she saw the future of Hank himself--an old silly cartoon man hanging on desperately to some idea of what he thought he once was. Silly men.

Still, the fact that Bill, old and crotchety as he was, could rankle Hank so bad was an amusing thought. There was a great deal about Hank that the man intentionally kept secret from her. She’d heard snatches through the years about this and that, never sure what was remotely true and what a total fabrication. She’d been told of traveling rocket salesmen to flying tigers to atomic mutant militia gangs. Somewhere, she guessed, Wild Bill and Hank must have had dealings. And none to Hank’s favor, it would appear. The man suddenly seemed all the more interesting.

It wasn’t long after Hank’s car had squealed off that Tommy reappeared from the back of the store toting a ten pound tire hammer on his shoulder and asking about his ‘papa.’ Mary-Alice was in a constant state of shock at the boy’s strength level. There he was, shaggy red hair in his face and carrying a piece of steel heavy enough she’d never want to mess with it for any reason and him barely three years old. One day she wanted to save the money to take him out to Mobile or New Orleans or somewhere and see some kind of special doctor just to make sure nothing wasn't wrong with the child. He was healthy enough. Damn healthy, in fact. But she just knew that something was off about him. The way his muscles got so big so fast and the way he ate constantly. He was a chore, that boy. A full time job just from cooking alone.

Mary-Alice stayed on until closing time, sweeping out the back room that held the farm tools and the fertilizer and helping out with the restocking. She fed Tommy another ice cream and two potted meat sandwiches before time to go and in the end, took pay in the form of two loaves of bread and several bags of rice and beans. With that, she thought she could feed the boy indefinitely and just learn to tolerate the consequences.

Wild Bill stuck around through closing time himself, steadily sucking down coffee and burning tobacco while going on and on about this and that he intended to do for the county as supervisor. Mary-Alice wondered but the man must not be serious. Surely he could not genuinely think good people would elect a sword carrying wild-eyed hillbilly with such a colored history as his. But then, this was Culloden County and she knew a certain man in a red and yellow racecar who practically got a standing ovation half the places he went. People here seemed to enjoy their outlaws and badmen.

“Would you care for an escort home this fair evening, ma’am?” Bill asked offering his arm to her and twisting his mustache ends with the other before jerking up his sword. “I’m a fair guard against the dangers of the wild if I say so myself.”

When the man smiled, she thought, he actually looked a little charming. He was probably fine looking when a little younger. He was tall enough. Wouldn’t that just eat Hank’s dinner? If she took an evening walk with old Wild Bill?

“A fine idea, Mr. Scanlon.” she said hooking her arm in his. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Smith.”

“That goes for me, Willy,” Bill said as they started out the door.

“Watch out for Old Blue,” Willy said.

“I reckon he’ll watch out for me as he always has. But, I’ll get him,” Bill said tapping his weapon.

Mary-Alice called for Tommy who charged from the back straight at the door and sent it nearly crashing to the other side. He had just devised a plan for a perfect formation of blocks and could waste no time in getting home to test his theories.

All the way back to the driveway leading to the barn, Wild Bill was the perfect gentleman. He told Mary-Alice old stories of the whisky runners before the war and what it was like growing up eating cornbread and onions three meals a day. It seemed to her a reasonable enough cause for anyone to turn to criminal behaviors. Hank had long done so and with far less provocation than that. In fact, she’d never been quite sure what Hank’s reason was for turning so bad as he had. He still had a mean on about that business with the bomb up in Jasperville, but that was all over and done with. The government people had said it was completely safe.

As they got to the drive, Mary-Alice took her leave of Bill, assuring him that the boy would be escort enough from here on out. Surely the only peril she could face then would be nothing more than a stray cat or jackrabbit which would be sorry the day it met with little Thomas Waylon Grady.

“Well then I assure you it’s been my great pleasure to have made acquaintance with you miss Mary-Alice MacGregor,” Bill said and leaned down to kiss her just barely on her right cheek, near enough to her neck she felt his breath.

And with that, Wild Bill took his leave and went on down his way, sword in hand and humming a Dixie tune.

Back home, Mary-Alice noticed the absence of the car and saw Hank had pinned a note to the door explaining he’d took an evening job and should be back later--with cash money. Or shot to death finally, she thought. She sent the boy off to his few toys--mostly homemade or hand-me-down--while she stood on the balcony with the last bit of sun sliding through the barn and pulling on one more cigarette before the hot bath she knew she needed.

Mary-Alice stewed on that peck all through her bath, going back over it time and again. What it was about that old man, she couldn’t guess. But he had witched her, as they say, for sure. Climbing out of her tub and dropping the boy in with his wooden ship and toweling off, she still had it on her mind.

Finally, Mary-Alice decided she was in the mood for sex so she put on Hank’s clothes. Theoretically, they were her clothes too. Hank just loved the fact they were both so similar in height they could wear the same jeans. “We can save money by sharing,“ he always said. It sometimes made her feel a little fat but then, of course, Hank had the skinniest butt of any man in the whole county, so maybe it was fair after all.

It was also a bother that the man near about wouldn’t touch her unless she sported jeans and a pair of boots, a rodeo shirt and her hair combed back--basically when she looked exactly like him. Hank was a strange man and didn’t seem too often to like being touched by women, even herself. But, she did at least have the matter down to a science and it was an easy enough task to perform in order to obtain what she wanted and any other time could well expect to be left be. So, she didn’t make all that many complaints.

When Hank finally pulled in and started up the stairs, Mary-Alice leaned in the lamplight against the right side post with her silhouette facing him and tugging on a cigarette. She eased a glance down at Hank and spat smoke out the side of her face and looked calmly at him, almost as if she didn’t even see him. That was all it took. As usual.

The next day Bill was back at the store shooting his gab about the election. This time more people made a point to swing by and listen to him go on. Whether out of genuine interest in his politics or just for the sake of gaudy spectacle, Mary-Alice could not be quite sure. But spectacle was the word for it. At one point the man was standing on the bench in front prattling out his tirade.

“We’re all at the turning point here, boys. You see what them Fed’rals done back in ‘67 when they had their way. You seen what they think of us plain folk down here in God’s country. See, they jealous of us. Jealous of what we got going for us down here. Boys, I can recall the day in this country when all a feller had to do was walk out his front doorstep and go not three yards and trip over a gang of fat rabbits or a hog or buckdeer or even an old buffaler.

“I recall when a man could head out to the river with a decent line in his hand and just start jerking fish out of the water so fast your arm was sore after half an hour. I can tell you that was the way it was for a fact. I lived it, sons. Me and plenty others. Well it was ruined slow and sure by northern aggression. These outsiders steady coming in with they paper mills and they textile plants and this and that and all the people running out to ‘em like they sent from heaven above. And what for? A dollar an hour wages and broke back? Sons, that ain’t a way to live. Not nohow. We got to stand up and take back our ways else they die out completely.

“You fellers know it won’t be long 'til they’ve got us all chained down. They’ll have our numbers, boys. They’ll say ‘you owe such and such dollars down and we’ll have it or you go work it off on the farm.’ Sons, it’ll be just like them old days before we took this country out from under them English. They’ll have our number, by god, and they’ll have us working ourselves to death for their interests. Well, what about our’n? By heaven, boys, a man ought not have to work that hard in his life just to get by. Not with a country that’s just spitting grain and groceries. By heaven, boys, working ourselves to death ain’t the way. A vote for Bill is a vote for the way home!”

Mary-Alice stood and watched the old man nearly yell himself hoarse in the middle of the general store to a crowd of maybe eleven people. In this county, maybe that was enough. Maybe they would each tell a cousin or two who would tell a cousin or two and that’d be pretty much everybody.

Bill had such a fire in his eyes when he spoke that Mary-Alice could almost see the history in his face. She wondered what it must have been like to see those islands out in that Pacific Ocean, to fight toe to toe with those mean Japanese who she’d heard had rather gut their own selves than lose a fight. She wondered how it could be to see things change so in a single lifetime. Already in her own she’d seen the shift over from raising crops and hogs to working at the mill or the plant. Every month a new road was being paved with blacktop and now nearly everybody had a telephone number. Bill, she then realized had seen it all from horse and buggy through to a man jumping around on the moon. She just couldn’t imagine such a sequence of shock and change. Already, her own life seemed too much to bear some days.

Bill walked her and Tommy home again that day and for many days thereafter. Each day in the store was much the same, him clamoring on and on about this and that offense from the people running the industry and making the laws, with people standing or sitting sipping coffee and half listening. Even Agnes Smith started taking interest in what the man had to say about cutting tax for the farmer. Mrs. Agnes had always said she’d sooner be tending her peas and corn than tending store.

In Bill, Mary-Alice decided, she saw what Hank Grady might be some day if he could ever settle down and make a run at something worth a damn. It was what she saw in him from the first day senior year. She remembered it well, the way he looked walking in with those jeans and that hair like he owned the world and didn’t care about a thing--like he had it all figured out. He had been a great boyfriend through it all. He was never short of something fun to do. Liquor was in no short supply with him around. But, now they were well in their twenties and with a boy to raise and Hank didn’t seem to notice that time had moved at all. He was still the fine-looking boy with the fine-looking car out to cut up and get in as much trouble as he felt he could get away with. It had long lost its luster for Mary-Alice. She wanted a husband for herself, a father for her son. She wanted a man. Not a boy in girls’ jeans.

Still, as each day was similar, so were the nights. Mary-Alice found herself to have such an appetite as she could not readily remember. Every afternoon in the store she stole glances at the man they say had killed not less than thirty white people, and more than one time she caught him stealing glances at her--parts of her, at least. She didn’t know why but it stayed with her and she did her best to work it out on Hank, who, admittedly, was being rather a sport about it all. It was usually a once or twice every few weeks sort of ordeal with that man, which, ordinarily, was plenty for herself.

Mary-Alice had always liked the way Hank looked once she got him out of her clothes, but now she focused her glances only on him from the neck down. She’d now developed her habit of putting her hands down on top of his face while she worked. Hank would puff and sniff and do all he could to pry her hands at least enough apart to get his nose free and manage to not die from lack of breath. Mary-Alice, somewhere deep inside, tried to tell herself to ease up, but she just couldn’t--not 'til it was over. And she didn’t want to see Hank during the affair. She didn’t even want him to touch her.

It was all well and good for her most nights until she finally, one evening, took it just the last bit further and sent Hank into a terrified frenzy. She’d been carrying on in the same way as usual, only this time, when he’d got a little excited himself and tried to grab her behind to brace himself, she jerked his hands off her and pinned them down. The man struggled for a minute to try to get himself loose, but she was having fun with him now and was strong enough it would not be easy for him to get free. She even giggled a bit at the fact she could make him jerk so.

That was when the screaming started. Hank shot out the most terrifying howls and ripped her hands from himself and flew out of the bed. Mary-Alice had snapped out of her trance and saw the look of horror on his face. Now Hank was the one long gone from the room. His eyes twitched and nearly sank all the way back in his head. He teetered and she thought he would pass out for a moment and jumped up to try and grab him. He flew back from her. He grabbed a pair of jeans and boots turned for the door. There was little Tom, staring at the whole scene and trying to make sense of who was doing what bad thing to who.

Hank stole out of the apartment and down the stairs to the car, Tom calling after his ‘papa’ all the while. The car squalled out of the barn that night coupled with the cries of the child and Mary-Alice sat dumbfounded on her bed. She’d only tried to play a little game with the man. Here again, she saw she’d never truly know him. But, now she at least had an idea why. He had made himself the creature he was to hide this thing about him away, to mask it in his silly hat and his glasses and foolish jeans and the outlandish vehicle. He had to show everyone he was something pretty, something flashy, something fast and tall and strong. All so they wouldn’t see this ugly thing, this sad and weak little thing that lived inside him. Now she’d seen it. Now she had seen enough of him to find him just close enough to human she could care about him again.

And now that he was real again to her, he was gone. For no telling how long.

It was three days before Hank showed back up. People knew he’d left, too. There had been an incident with Bill the night before where he finally worked up his nerve to offer his consoling shoulders to her for the evening.

“I do hate to see a fine woman distressed so, and alone of a night. There’s foul dealings can often happen to good women these hot nights,” Bill had said.

Mary-Alice had chuckled inside herself beside her driveway and mused for a moment on the irony that a week earlier she might have actually considered such an offer. But, of course, the very circumstances that enabled the offer consequently prohibited it from being accepted. She could by no means betray her man now that she finally wanted him again. And she did want him back.

Mary-Alice smiled at Wild Bill Scanlon--the last real outlaw in this county: one who’d had no other choice but be who he was. Maybe the man could pull off his election. She wasn’t sure about how all those things worked anyway. She’d spent the majority of her senior civics classes staring at a particular boy. But, she decided she would go vote for Bill. She hugged him again and sent him on his way.

At the store the next morning, Bill was absent. Presumably he had moved on down the road to the Pine Ridge area where he would no doubt repeat his wild rants for those good people there.

Mary-Alice was straightening the soaps down the far aisle of the store when she heard the bawling of Tommy.

“Papa! Papa!” he yelled as she heard his feet slapping across the floor.
Mary-Alice walked up front to see him standing tall, shielded in full regalia. Like a statue, he stood with the light from the hot southern sun bleeding in from the door behind him.
“Mrs. Agnes,” he said, “Put that diesel on Chauncy Pickering’s ticket. And two cokes for the road, please, ma’am.”

Mary-Alice couldn’t even know if the man was looking at her from behind those black glasses but she felt sure he wasn’t. From out the front window she spied a big rig truck parked at the diesel pump, trailer hitched and ready for the highway.

“Trucking out with Chauncy,” he said still not seeing her. “Taking on some bigger work.”
“Real work?” Mary-Alice was in such a mood she didn’t at all mind calling him out on his dealings in the midst of Willy’s store. Eyes from the bullpen stuck to Hank and Mary-Alice. People always did love to catch sight at others’ business any chance that presented itself.

“Real as any, I reckon,” Hank said without a beat and turned out the door.
“Coming back?” She shot at him.

“I could never leave my sweetheart,” Hank said turning back to smile his fakest smile yet, and only Mary-Alice knew what he really meant. He was wise that day to leave it parked elsewhere.

Hank left and Mary-Alice worked out the rest of the day with her jaw set hard as it would go. She tried well as she could keep the blame off herself and all onto Hank where she felt it surely belonged. But maybe he would really start something decent for a change. Maybe he’d straighten up and fly right and stop tearing about so much. And maybe next week she’d fly jet planes.

It was later that afternoon the handful of people inside were rocked by what sounded like explosions coming from outside the store. There were several all right in a row, loud as thunder nearly. In a moment of terror, Mary-Alice realized Tommy was nowhere in sight and she just knew he’d finally found something to destroy himself with.

She ran outside along with Willy, Agnes and Billy Parker.

There, they all saw the sight they couldn’t quite grasp. Tommy was standing up on a trailer with Billy’s little girl, Lacy, watching on. Somebody had come up with a flatbed of quarry stones and Tommy was hurling them up over his head and slamming them down onto the blacktop parking lot, sending sparks flying like little bolts of lightning with each one. Billy ran and grabbed him off the trailer before he could toss another one. Tommy and Lacy were just laughing wild as they could. It was all just their little game. Agnes stared at the boy like he might as well be the third cousin of the devil or John Brown.
That was when it all finally hit home for Mary-Alice. All she’d ever wanted was to have a plain and decent life. Live in a house. Plant a garden. Take her children to school. Go dancing with her husband on Friday night. Instead, she found herself constantly surrounded by ridiculousness. She had a duded-up rogue boyfriend who literally spat all over the law trying everyday hard as he could to get himself jailed or killed chasing down his own made up legend. She had an old ghost of an even wilder time dead and gone offering her use of his “sword” and wandering through the countryside living in the fading memories of purported exploits. And now, she had a little boy pushing three years and hurling boulders off a truck like they were baseballs. Nothing about her life, she knew, would ever be plain.

“Say, y’all,” Charlie Ford called out, coming in from behind them. “Y’all hear about Wild Bill? He just gutted a big fat panther down by the old burnt bridge. Sure and he did, split it wide open with that blade of his. Telling you what right now, but that man’s got my vote in a hurry. Ain’t lost a beat. Cut it clean near in half. Old Bill. What you reckon he makes a new hat from it? I bet I would.”

________________________________________

Jason Stuart is the founder and editor of Burnt Bridge, a literary magazine (available in paperback and ebook). This story is part of his book, Raise a Holler, a novel told in parts.He currently resides on the beach in Mississippi and works on an Air Force base, though he is not, himself, an airman. He has several lawyers but still no agent. He rides a motorcycle and roots for the Gators.

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Conversation with Lynne Bryant,Author of Catfish Alley

On April 5th the Dew will have a review of Catfish Alley, the novel by Lynne Bryant.  I think it's a great debut book and thought you might like to hear a little bit more about it before the review.  

_______________________________________

A Conversation with Lynne Bryant
author of CATFISH ALLEY
NAL Accent Trade Paperback Original
April 2011

Q. Where did the idea for Catfish Alley come from?

A. The real Catfish Alley in my hometown of Columbus, Mississippi, was a gathering place for African Americans from the late nineteenth century through my growing up years in the seventies. In its heyday, the early 1900s, it was a short block between Main and College Street where locals could bring their catfish catch to sell in the alley. The story is that the Alley got its name from the wonderful smell of fried catfish wafting across Main Street on any given day.

While doing research on the antebellum homes in Columbus, I ran across the list of sites for the Columbus African-American Heritage tour. Catfish Alley was one of those sites. I began to wonder about the stories of the men and women who might have lived during those early years of the twentieth century. I started to research places that I’d grown up around but never really noticed, and I began to ask myself “what if a white woman and a black woman were thrown together, not necessarily by choice, to examine the history of the Columbus African American community?” So, out of all of this imagery, memory, and life experience, the story of Catfish Alley was born. 

Q. The fictional town of Clarksville is loosely based on your own hometown of Columbus, Mississippi. How do you think the people of Columbus will respond to Catfish Alley?

A. That’s difficult to predict. Although Columbus has some unique qualities, in terms of its history and antebellum structures, I feel the characters in my novel, and the relationships between blacks and whites that I depict, could be found in many other Southern towns. My characters represent a cross-section of types of people. Since I spent the first 27 years of my life in Columbus, that small community had a huge influence on me. The African American Heritage Tour in Columbus wasn’t started until long after I had moved away—I think around 2004. The historic places on the tour, and the black citizens whose names are included in the historical record were the inspiration for my story. My novel is not intended to portray their factual histories, but to tell a story of events as they might have been.

Q. Who is Pruitt and how did you discover his work?

A. In my research, I discovered the name of O. N. Pruitt and recognized that his name was inscribed on the photographic portraits of my oldest sister and brother hanging on the wall in my mother’s bedroom. These were portraits that my mother had Mr. Pruitt take in the early 1940s to send to my father, who was a soldier stationed in Germany. I found that Pruitt did much more than produce sweet portraits of babies. He also photographed freak shows, circus acts, dead children, tent revivals, river baptisms, and, much to my surprise, lynchings. He was even part of the group of photographers who produced the lynching postcards that were circulated throughout the South in the 1920s and ’30s. I found a scholar, Berkley Hudson, whose dissertation work was a study of O. N. Pruitt’s photography from 1920 to 1960. The gruesome image of a 1930s double lynching of two young black men that occurred in the same county where I grew up touched something deep inside me and made me want to tell this story.

Q. You’ve said that when you moved away from the South, you finally became aware of how unique your life there was compared to the way people lived in the rest of the country. What are some of the strengths your Southern upbringing gave you?

A. An appreciation of good cooking and cool weather! No, seriously, I have especially come to value the sense of place I experienced in childhood but resisted for a long time as an adult. I also appreciate the hard, physical work that we did for the delicious food we ate. The experience of growing our own food from seed to harvest enormously enriched my childhood and early adulthood. I’ll probably become one of those old women like Shirley MacLaine’s character, Ouiser, in Steel Magnolias—wearing an ugly sunhat and growing tomatoes and, I hope, writing more books! There was also a sense of connectedness about my Southern life. My people weren’t on the social register, but since my mama was one of fifteen, and five of my siblings lived in town at one point or another, I couldn’t help but know everybody. That can be comforting as well as stifling. I experienced both while living there.

Q. You teach nursing full-time and have a family too. How did you manage to carve out the time necessary to research and write Catfish Alley?

A. It was challenging, but I have an extremely supportive family. One of the lessons I’ve had to learn is the discipline of writing. I get up early to write, usually around 5 a.m. during the school year. I find that if I can get in at least two to three good writing hours, I feel a sense of accomplishment for the rest of the day. I’ve also learned that having a specific goal and a self-imposed deadline makes a huge difference in my motivation. Middle age is all about management. Managing my full-time job and full-time writing while trying to exercise, spend time in my garden, read, and save some time for my family requires an incredible juggling act. I usually feel like one of those performers spinning several plates at once! But the privilege of writing novels is so worth it!

Q. What are you working on now?

A. I’m working on a story set in the Mississippi Delta town of Greenville. It’s the story of a young woman who flees Mississippi right after high school, trying to leave behind a tragic event that arises out of racial segregation. She returns to Greenville ten years later to grapple with some unsolved mysteries of her life, and in doing so, ends up getting immersed in her grandmother’s history. It’s part love story, part mystery, and includes a lot about that Southern sense of place. Like Catfish Alley, the story moves back and forth in time between now and the past.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Southern Hospitality

"Miss Sissy" Bingham swept her front walk with short, vigorous strokes on a Tuesday morning in the early spring. She had finished pulling the weeds from her front flowerbeds, and she was clearing the last of the debris from the walkway.

She paused and tucked a wisp of gray hair into the bun on the back of her head. One hand went to the small of her back, and she stretched up to her full four-foot-ten- inch height. She pulled off her round, silver framed glasses and squinted at them before digging out a handkerchief and rubbing the lenses clean. With her glasses back on, she gazed at the home she and her husband had built before he died.

The one story house was red brick, and it had a long front porch with four wooden rocking chairs patiently waiting for someone to sit down and keep them company. Black and white awnings over the front windows blocked the sun’s heat in the afternoon. All of the windows and doors were open to catch the occasional breeze.

The grass was a thick, green carpet edged perfectly around the flowerbeds and along the front sidewalk. A magnolia tree stood in full bloom on one side of the yard, and eight dogwoods were scattered about the property.

It was the azalea bushes, though, that were the property’s crowning glory. Beds of vibrant red flowers lined each side of the yard from the back fence to the front sidewalk. The house was surrounded by bushes with white blossoms. All were evenly trimmed and stood in beds thick with pine straw.

Miss Sissy's reverie was broken when her screen door slapped shut and Dr. Willie Simpson came down the front steps of her house. Dr. Simpson had rented a room after serving as a surgeon in the Europe theater under General Eisenhower, and he was struggling to establish his practice as the town's newest doctor.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Miss Sissy greeted him. "You were certainly out late last night."

"Good morning, Miss Sissy.” He yawned. "I was up with Mrs. Annie Blanche McLaughlin. Her fever finally broke about two o'clock.”

"Well, I'm sure you did a wonderful job. You're making quite a name for yourself, you know."

"Yes, ma'am, if you say so. I just wish some of these people would start paying me. I don't mind the work, and I love helping people, but I'll be glad when I can pay my bills on time."

"Now, son, I told you not to worry about all of that. You're a good boy, and I know….."
"I know, Miss Sissy, I know," Dr. Willie said miserably. "But I hate living here and not paying you what we agreed on. I can't even pay the phone company this month. I just hope I can pay them before they come take my phone."

"Don't you worry about it. I'll take care of the phone company if it comes to that. Now you run off to work. I bet you'll have patients waiting for you today."

"Yeah," Dr. Willie laughed. "Maybe a couple of them will be the paying kind."

"Well, you can’t see them if you’re standing here talking to me." Miss Sissy pushed him out of the yard and onto the sidewalk. “You just go make people well, son, and everything will fall into place."

"Thanks, Miss Sissy." He headed down the sidewalk with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders slumped.

Miss Sissy picked up her broom and went inside. A few minutes later she came out with a cup of coffee and a well-worn copy of Gone With the Wind. She settled into the rocking chair nearest the porch steps and opened the book. Before she had read a dozen pages the phone rang. She sighed and went inside.

The telephone sat on a table in the big front hallway. She picked it up and said, "Hello. No, Doctor Simpson is not in. He's seeing patients. I will be happy to give you his office number, though.

"Oh? Yes, this is Mrs. Bingham.

"Yes, I own the home, and I will be here all day.

"I'm not having any problems with the phones, thank you. There's no reason to send anyone out.

"Now just you wait a minute! That boy works hard. You can't disconnect his telephone. He'll pay you just as soon as he can.

"Yes, I know that you've been patient, but so have I, and if I can carry him for a little while then surely you people can as well. I have to count my pennies, you know; I’m a widow.

"No ma'am, I will not. If I pay it for him, then you won't have the chance to help him. Besides, the poor boy would be humiliated. No, I think you should help him out for a little while longer.

"Well, I certainly won't let him in.

"Goodbye." Miss Sissy slammed down the receiver and shook her head. "People are so uncaring nowadays," she muttered.

She went into the kitchen and filled a pitcher with iced tea and put it on a tray with two tall glasses and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Then she took the tray out to the porch and put it on the table next to her rocker. She dumped her coffee into the flower bed and took the cup inside.

When the telephone company's truck pulled up in front of her house a few minutes later, Miss Sissy was reading in her porch rocker. The man bustled up the walkway with a clipboard in his hand. "Are you Mrs. Bingham?"

"I am. Won't you sit down and have a glass of tea?" Miss Sissy waved toward one of the rocking chairs. "I don't believe I know you, but most people in town call me Miss Sissy. Please have a seat."

"No, Mrs. Bingham, we haven't met," the man answered brusquely. "I'm here to disconnect a phone line. The service is billed to William Simpson. Does he live at this address?"

"Yes, Doctor Simpson does, but he isn't here right now; he's with his patients. He's making quite a name for himself, you know."

"I'm sure he is, ma'am, but I've got to disconnect his telephone. Would you show me where it is, please?"

"As I told you, sir, Doctor Simpson is not here. Perhaps you could come back later and discuss the matter with him." Miss Sissy’s voice had lost its sweetness, but she was still icily polite.

"No, ma'am, I need to complete this disconnect now. Would you please show me where the phone is?"

"You're in such a hurry, son. Enjoy some tea with me. I'm sure we can work this out." She filled the two glasses as she spoke. “Please, sit down."

"Mrs. Bingham, I'm here to disconnect a telephone. I'm sure you're a real nice lady, and there's no doubt that Mr. Simpson…"

"Doctor Simpson."

"Fine, Mrs. Bingham, Doctor Simpson is probably a fine man making a wonderful name for himself. But my job is to disconnect Mr. -- Doctor Simpson's telephone service and collect his telephone. Now I don't know…"

Miss Sissy stood and said, "I am so sorry that you couldn't stay longer, sir, and I'm sure your supervisor will understand. In fact, I know he will. You undoubtedly work for Mr. Tilley Coleman, and I will be discussing your behavior with him this afternoon. Now please leave immediately." Miss Sissy pointed to the man's truck. "I mean this instant," she snapped when he didn’t move.

"Mrs. Bingham, I wish you would…"

"Don't you 'Mrs. Bingham' me, young man! Leave, or I’ll call Tilley right now!"

"Call him if you need to, Mrs. Bingham, but I'm just temporary help in from the capital. If you don't let me in, I'll come back with the police chief, and he’ll let me in!" The telephone man's voice had become loud and strident.

"You may use my phone to call Chief JW McGee right now, sir." Miss Sissy extended her arm towards the door. "JW was one of my best students when he was in high school. I'm sure he will explain things to you very plainly." She crossed her arms and smiled.
The man shook his head. "Mrs. Bingham, it doesn't matter what kind of student your police chief was in high school. The law's the law, and the law says I can disconnect that telephone."

"Well, you may wait in you truck, sir, while I make a call." She stepped into the house and let the screen door slap shut behind her. "You may wait in your truck, sir,” she said again from inside, “but you may not wait on my property. Please leave immediately."

“I really don’t need this,” the telephone man growled as he crossed the porch and knocked on the door frame. "Mrs. Bingham, I'm coming in now. Let's just get this over with, and we can both still have a good day."

He stepped into the front hallway and froze. Miss Sissy was pointing a .38 Police Special at his chest.

"Take one more step and I'll drill you, mister. You'd better just back on out the door.”
The man raised his hands above his head and backed onto the porch. Miss Sissy held the screen door open with her foot, still pointing the pistol at the man’s chest.

"Now, Mrs. Bingham, you know you're going to be in a lot of trouble if you shoot me. You wouldn't pull that trigger, anyway, would you?"

"You're going to be in a lot of trouble if you don't get off of my property," Miss Sissy answered. "I'm a damn good shot, and you're making me angry. Now move!"

"Take it easy, Mrs. Bingham," the man said in a soothing tone. "You know you could really hurt yourself with that gun. It's got some kick to it."

"It’s going to kick you if you don't get back in that truck of yours and leave!"

"Come on, Mrs. Bingham, give me the gun.” He held out his hand.

"I'm warning you one more time, sir. Leave now or I will shoot you."

The telephone man shook his head. "No ma'am, I don't think you will." He took a step forward. "In fact, if you'll…"

The pistol bucked in Miss Sissy's hands and an explosion ripped through the neighborhood. The man grabbed his thigh and cried out as he fell down the steps.

"I asked you to leave." Miss Sissy stood calmly on the edge of the porch.

"You shot me, you crazy old woman!" the man yelled. Blood leaked from between his fingers.

"I just grazed you, sir. I could have made it much worse. If you're not out of my yard when I finish counting to ten, I'll shoot the other leg. One."

"You're crazy!" The man couldn't take his eyes from the pistol.

"Two. Stay here and see just how crazy I am.”

"God almighty, woman, you shot me!"

"Three. And I promise I will shoot you again if you don't get moving! You're staining my sidewalk. Now get! Four."

The man struggled to his feet and leaned heavily on his good leg, glaring up at Miss Sissy.
"Five."

"My God, lady!" the man cried. "You shot me! Call Mr. Coleman now. Call a doctor! Call your Doctor Simpson!"

"Six. First of all, young man, you came to take Doctor Simpson's telephone out. It's appropriate, then, that yours should be the first call he misses. Don't you agree? Seven.”
"And furthermore, sir, I have only winged you. You have what they call in the western serials a flesh wound. You are not so injured that you cannot walk out of my yard, so you had better get moving. Eight."

"Mrs. Bingham, please." The man held out a bloody hand. "Just let me get to my truck, and I'll call the doctor!"

"Nine. I have given you every chance to do just that. Now you’d better get to it, son."
"I'm going! I'm moving! For God's sake, lady, don't shoot again! Please!" He limped crazily down Miss Sissy’s front walk. When he was only halfway to his truck he looked over his shoulder and yelled, "I'll be calling the police, too! You'll pay for this, you crazy old bat!"

"Ten!” Another explosion ripped through the neighborhood, and again the man screamed and fell to the ground writhing, but this time he clutched both legs.

"Somebody help me!" he called to the neighbors who had appeared on their porches. "Somebody get a doctor! Get the police before this old woman kills me!”

No one moved to help him.

He looked back at Miss Sissy when she said, "Now crawl get off my property. I'm going in to call JW and Doctor Simpson. Be sure you're in that truck when I come back."

A small crowd stood in front of Miss Sissy’s house when Doctor Simpson arrived. The injured telephone man sat on the ground beside his truck. Miss Sissy stood off to the side with the police chief.

"I didn't kill the boy, JW,” she said. “I just winged him. All I did was save you the trouble of dealing with him."

Doctor Simpson opened his black bag and cut away the telephone man's pants legs before examining the wounds. Behind him, Miss Sissy and the chief continued to argue.
"I won't give up my gun. I need it for protection. Look what just happened!”

"Miss Sissy,” the police chief said, “the phone company might not prosecute if I can show that I've dealt with the problem. Please give me that pistol."

Doctor Simpson turned around. "These wounds are just superficial, Chief. I'll bandage them and give him some sulfa to fight off the infection. He should be dancing in a week."
"I told you I was a good shot.” Miss Sissy raised her chin. "See, JW, I didn't want to hurt the man. I just wanted to get his attention."

"Miss Sissy, you got the whole neighborhood's attention. And if you don't give me that pistol, you're going to get a lot more attention still."

"Well, I won't." Miss Sissy crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip.

"Chief, what happens if this gentleman doesn't press charges?” asked the doctor.

"He shouldn't press any charges," Miss Sissy huffed. "I told him I would shoot if he didn't leave my property."

Doctor Simpson glanced at his patient and said, “Hush, Miss Sissy.”

"Don't you tell me...”

"Chief, what if he doesn't press charges?" Doctor Simpson asked again.

The chief rubbed his chin and looked at the telephone man. "I guess we wouldn't have much of a case."

"Don't you people think I won't press charges," the wounded man said. "Officer, I want this woman dealt with! She's a menace!"

"It's your call, son, but she did ask you to leave, and she did only graze you."

"She shot me! Twice! I want justice!"

"How about if I don't charge you for any of the treatment, and Miss Sissy here buys you a new pair of britches? Will you forget about the whole thing then?" Doctor Simpson asked.
"I'll get at least that in court.”

"Not in this town, you won't," the doctor replied.

"She's a crazy old woman, and I want her dealt with!”

Miss Sissy turned and started up the front walk. “I’m going to get my gun.”

"Dang it, Miss Sissy!" The chief bounded after her. Doctor Simpson jumped up and ran after the chief.

"Oh no," the telephone man cried out. "No charges! No charges!" He struggled to his feet and grabbed the door of his truck. "Just let me leave. I appreciate your help, Doc, so you just keep the phone!"

Chief McGee caught Miss Sissy and held her tightly by the shoulders.

"JW let go! He's getting away," she yelled. "Let me get my gun!"

"Be still, old woman," the chief growled. "You just might get out of this thing if you'll keep quiet."

"Oh hell, JW, let me go." She shook herself free as the truck roared off. "Look at him run!"

The chief chuckled. "Yeah, the doc must have fixed him up real good.”

"Of course he did,” Miss Sissy said. “Don't you know this young man has been making quite a name for himself?"

________________________________
Author Roy Jeffords has a novel published twelve years ago, and  currently has a short story, "Ozymandias", nominated for both the Pushcart Prize and Best American Short Stories.  That story, also about the South, was published in Our Stories literary journal last year.

"Southern Hospitality" came from a real incident involving my great, great aunt, but he has used much artistic license to make it a tell-able story. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

Grouse in Snow

Snow fell in big flakes as Whit Reed waited next to his pickup outside Beulah’s Café. Hanging on the window rack of the truck was a single-shot twelve gauge shotgun, open at the breech. A box of Remington number seven shells lay on its side on the dashboard. Whit opened the truck door and rolled down the window for Esau, his mixed breed lab. The dog put his big paws up on the door and lapped at the flakes. The temperature was dropping fast. Whit had a wool cap on the seat but he stood bare-headed next to the truck, the cold stinging his ears.

Whit liked hunting grouse because he was always moving. In clear weather the birds scattered out singly or in pairs, and it was best to hunt the rocky slopes of the high ridges. He would cover miles, his flannels soaked with sweat, blackberry stickers trailing from his overalls. In honeysuckle and grapevine he paused often, hoping to make the birds uneasy so they would flush early as the dog worked. But more often than not, they still surprised him, exploding from cover just as he was astraddle a log, or bent to scoot under hanging vines, and he would catch a glimpse as the bird stopped its wing beat yards out of range, veering into a glide. But with snow falling it would be different.

When the powder blue Dodge Valiant turned into the gravel lot, Esau lifted his ears and started to whine. Whit could see Maggie waving behind the fogged-up windshield. The tires crunched on the gravel and thin ice in a puddle crackled as she stopped and cut the engine.

“Defroster’s not working,” she said as she stepped out. “Chrysler product. Hope I’m not late.” She was wearing a leather aviator’s jacket with a fringed scarf tied around her neck that draped to her thighs. On her head was a thick toboggan that covered her brow. Her face was fuller and her honey blond hair cropped shorter than he remembered, but when she slammed the car door shut she tilted her jaw and pulled her hair back behind her ear, just the way he remembered. She smiled. Her lips were full and arched.

“Esau!” she cried. The dog began to whimper, his thick tail beating the cab window and windshield, knocking the rearview mirror askew. “I saw Esau/ Sitting on a seesaw!” she said. The dog yipped and whined.

She walked to the truck and leaned her chin forward and the dog licked her chin and face and neck. She took his shoulders and scrubbed his fur with her hands. “My sweet boy,” she said.

Whit stood with his hands in the pockets.

“Maggie,” he said. “You look good.”

“You, too,” she said. She looked at the window rack. “I see you brought the single-shot.”

“Browning’s under the seat,” he said. “If you want.”

She scrubbed the toe of her boot in the gravel, then looked him square in the face.

“I’d better not,” she said. “I didn’t dress for it. Another time.”

“Some breakfast?” he said.

“Now you’re talking,” she said.

He held the screen door for her. The panes of the inside door were covered with frost. He turned the knob and she stepped in before him.

A farmer in brown overalls sat at the counter, his big hands wrapped around a coffee mug. The wood stove in the center of the room glowed red.

“Whitman Reed,” Beulah said. She was a big woman in a black dress that buttoned at the neck. Over it she wore a full apron, white, with pink roses trimming the fringe. The frames of her eyeglasses were chrome and studded with rhinestones. “They treating you right at college? You better give me a hug, boy. You too, Maggie Agee.”

She stepped out from behind the counter and let her eyeglasses drop on a cord to her bosom. She hugged Whit tight and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek. Then she did the same for Maggie. She stepped back and looked at them, holding each of their hands.

“My lands, what I’d give to be young again,” she said.

“It’s overrated,” Whit said.

“The philosopher,” Beulah said. “Like you know a thing. Youth’s wasted on the young, what my Momma always said. Scrambled eggs, link sausage, sliced tomato, an order of pancakes to share, two coffees. Am I right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Maggie said.

“Coming up,” Beulah said.

They took seats in the booth next to the big window. Frost was forming on the inside of the pane. Through the glass the snowflakes undulated, like water flowing over falls. Whit could feel the cold on one cheek from the window, the warmth of the woodstove on the other. Maggie took off her jacket and scarf. Whit shucked himself out of the overall tops. He liked the spray of freckles on her cheeks, the way her skin glowed, the fullness of her breasts under her sweater. Her eyes were blue, dancing with light, and flecked with gold.
The farmer stood up from the counter, lifting the hood of his overalls. He took a toothpick from the salt shaker on the counter.

“Got my money on the Hokies Thanksgiving Day,” he said.

“Good money gone to bad,” Whit said.

“Big plume on that Cavalier, right sissified, don’t you reckon?”

Maggie snickered.

“Check Virginia’s record,” Whit said. “The Cavs will prevail.”

“Seen that article in the Roanoke Times,” the farmer said. “Don’t let them Frenchmen learn you any bad habits, now. Saigon, they had a few.”

“I won’t, Mr. Hubbard.”

“Keep him in line, Maggie.”

“It’ll never happen,” she said.

“Ain’t it the truth,” the farmer said. He went out the door.

“When do you leave?” Maggie said.

“January,” he said. “Classes till June. Then travel all summer.”

“The Sorbonne,” she said.

“Wonder how you say ‘redneck’ in French?” he said.

“La paysanne,” she said.

Beulah stormed toward the booth, two big mugs in her fist and plates stacked on an arm. The scrambled eggs and coffee were steaming. She set the mugs on the table, then banged down the plates.

“Eat it while it’s hot,” she said. “Look at the color in that child’s cheeks, Whit. What beauty.”

Maggie blushed and scraped a pancake atop her eggs.
“You two set?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Maggie said. Beulah stormed back to the kitchen, apron ribbons fluttering.
They fell to. When Maggie finished, she pushed her plate back.

“Clinic’s outside Philadelphia,” she said. “We’re coming back through Charlottesville.”
Whit mopped syrup off his plate.

“You and the lucky father?” he said.

“Whit,” she said.

He lowered his eyes.

“No,” she said. “Carol.”

“Big sister,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “She’s tops.”

“Is he a good guy?” he said.

Her eyes began to brim.

“Maggie,” he said.

“Just because you don’t want to, you think I’m dating losers?”

“Maggie.”

“He’s handsome, he’s funny, he’s smart.” She blinked, and tears spilled down her cheeks.

“He wanted to drive me. I wouldn’t let him.”

“I’m sorry, Maggie.”

“You should be.”

“You okay, honey?” Beulah called from the kitchen.

“It’s just Whit,” Maggie said. “Being Whit.”

“Whitman Reed?” Beulah lowered her chin, glaring above the rhinestones of her glasses.
“Yes ma’am.”

Maggie took a tissue from her jacket.

“Carol’s going to see some grad student,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll feel like tagging along. Maybe I could crash at your place.”

“Sure,” he said. “Plenty of room. I can sleep on the sofa.”

“Sure,” she said. She looked at her coffee cup.

“It’s simple,” she said. “Quick.”

“Yeah,” he said. He fiddled with his spoon on the table top. “Maggie, I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she said.

“No,” he said. “I let this happen.”

“It’s not always about you, Whit.”

“I’m going in so many directions,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’d better get going before that snow piles up any deeper. I’ll be outside.”

Whit went to the counter so Beulah could ring him up. The big keys of the cash register clanked as she entered the tally. He gave her a twenty.

“Keep it,” he said.

“I’m not keeping it, college boy.”

“All right,” he said.

“You know what my Momma always said, Whit?”

“No, ma’am.”

“She said the sweetest smelling rose is the one right under your nose. You take her meaning?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She gave him his change. “Now give me a kiss and get out of here. I’ll see you the next time.”

The door of the truck was open and Maggie sat on the edge of the seat. Esau rested his head on her shoulder. He scrubbed his broad face against her neck. She stood up and held the dog’s head with both hands, stroking his jowls. The snow was falling in pellets now, ticking on the fenders of the truck. It was boot-deep, and heavy.

“I’ll call you when we know our schedule,” she said.

“Okay,” he said.

She turned and looked into his eyes.

“I think I’ll do fine,” she said.

“You will,” he said. He grabbed her and held her close. He liked the way she felt pressed against him, her hands on his shoulders. He held her tight.

“Jack Off,” she said.

“Maggot,” he said. He held her at arm’s length. They both grinned.

He cleared her windshield while the Dodge warmed up. Then he helped her in and closed the car door. He leaned against the truck as she drove away. Esau whimpered and yelped. He put his paws up on the seat and dipped his head to see out the window, watching as the Dodge made its way up the hill. His ears sagged, and then his tail, as the taillights disappeared.

Whit got in the cab and slammed the door. He noticed the box of shells had been turned upright, the flaps closed. He took the box from the dash and opened it on his lap. Inside was a paper napkin from the café.

“Just breathe,” the note said. Then a smiley face. Then a heart. He looked at the cursive, awkward for a feminine hand. He remembered the sound of her breath when she was sleeping. He folded the napkin and tucked it in the bib of his overalls. He stuffed extra shells in his hunting coat and started the engine.

Grouse in snow seek cover, sometimes in coveys, often near water, in coves thick with rhododendron or hemlock or pine. He knew just where to go. He parked the truck at the mouth of a hollow. Esau started working the fox grape thickets along the split-rail fence at the woods edge. They crossed the fence and started up the hollow. The ground grew steep quickly, with shelves of stone, and he had to watch his footing. The only sounds were the pellets of snow striking tree trunks and branches, the rattle of oak leaves clinging to limbs, the whisper of his boots in the snow. They hunted the alder stands along the creek bed. The woodlands of the hollow opened into a meadow near the crest of the ridge. The high meadow was thick with thorns, wild rose, broom sedge, black pine, and locust saplings. A crumbling stone wall stood at the spring head, the tall marsh grass bent over with snow. Beyond the wall was a grove of black pine dark as a cave. Esau worked furiously, excited by fresh scent. Whit saw tiny heads bob up behind the wall and disappear.

Esau approached the base of a big wild rose, backed up, lifting his head, approached again, then backed up, sniffing. Whit raised the shotgun and walked in. Orange rose hips clung to the branches, bright against the snow. Near the thorny base a single rose had volunteered, its pink petals just visible. Beneath it, nestled in a bowl of broom sedge, he could see mottled feathers. He took another step, careful to keep his balance. Now the snow was falling in big flakes. He stepped closer. Esau lowered his head, snuffling the broom sedge.
Whit walked to the bush. He bent on one knee. Esau was whining.

“Good boy,” he said. “Sit.” He brushed away the snow and picked up the grouse, warm to the touch. It was a hen. Her feathers were full. There was no sign of trauma. He cradled her in both hands, her head dangling between his fingers. Big flakes settled on her breast and wings. He knew what he held was sacred. He tucked the dead hen in the broom sedge with her head nestled against a wing.

Whit stood, and the silence exploded. Grouse rocketed in all directions across the clearing from the stand of pines behind the stone wall, and he cocked the hammer of the single-shot and shouldered the gun in one smooth motion. Esau bounded forward, anticipating the shot. Whit leaned forward against the recoil, cheek snug against the stock, remembering to swing through his target, remembering to breathe when he fired. He watched wings beating against the bottomless sky until they disappeared in snow and silence. He uncocked the hammer and lowered the gun. Esau whimpered and lifted his ears. Whit pulled off his wool cap. He watched the falling snow.

____________________________________

Ross Howell lives in Greensboro, NC, with his wife, Mary Leigh, and diva, English cocker spaniel Pinot. An earlier story, “Serpent of the Nile,” was published by Dew on the Kudzu in November 2010.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Stories Needed for April!

Where have all the writers gone? As of April 15th (tax day, interesting..) the Dew has no more stories ready to share!

Come on... you know you have tales inside your head just itchin' to break out and be shared with others! 


Stories 750 words or more, no extremely graphic language. The Dew doesn't demand unpublished work and also is more than willing to have you share it with other publications. Your own graphics/pictures are also always welcome.

Hope to hear from you soon!


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Working Without a Net

Working Without a Net
by Randy Lowens

John dropped his bookbag on the sidewalk and stretched. "First thing after graduation," he announced to a passing car, "I'm designing a backpack that doesn't turn students into educated hunchbacks." He pulled a box of Marlboro Reds from his shirt pocket and lit up.

His mother nagged about smoking. The habit was out of fashion among his fellow students. Carol, his wife, complained about the smell and wouldn't let him smoke inside the house. John was forever "trying to quit", but that was just what he said to excuse the habit. Dying from emphysema or cancer, at some point in the distant future, was the least of his worries.

Cocaine, now, he really was trying to quit that shit. Soon, as in immediately, before Carol figured out he'd invested next month's rent in Peruvian flake. Besides, he hated peering out the blinds at four AM, searching for shadows of policemen in the alleyway. Three weeks had passed since he'd tooted up. Hardly thought of it, anymore.

He leaned against a waist-high brick wall that lined the sidewalk and blew smoke out his nostrils the way he'd seen Charles Bronson do in a black-and-white spaghetti Western. Across the street, a parking garage was being built. John was an engineering student, but he wasn't thinking of how the principles of physics applied to the structure. Instead he watched a fellow on the second floor roll up a drop cord.

The man appeared about John's age. He wore a mustache, jeans, boots, and a plaid shirt. If he traded his hardhat for a Stetson, he might have been the Marlboro man. He had finished cleaning some welds on an I beam with a rotary brush and had started gathering tools, preparing to depart.

John wondered where the guy was headed. Probably down to the corner bar to toss back a few. He'd shoot some stick, maybe croon a tune with his pals, then turn some cowgirl's head before turning in for the night. When this guy lit a smoke, nobody nagged. Men slapped him on the back, and women waited in line to two-step. No paranoia in the wee hours, no bleeding septum or bills he couldn't pay. John was suddenly filled with the conviction that this man lived a simple life, a healthy life, his body nourished by manual labor and his spirit by the camaraderie of his fellows.

When the man disappeared, John considered tailing him. If he hurried, he might catch the guy in the parking lot, ask what bar he frequented and make plans to meet later. Instead, John snuffed his butt on the sidewalk, shouldered his book bag and started walking towards home. Otherwise, Carol would rag his ass.

#

Carol leaned against the windowsill and watched a garbage truck backing up the alleyway. "I'll thank the Lord when you have your degree, and we can afford a real house with a lawn," she said. "That's not so much to ask. It's not like I want a mansion. A little A frame in a suburb would be fine." John stared at the sweat on the side of his bottle of Heineken. He held his breath and counted one, two, three: "Your father would loan you the money for a down payment, Morris. If you weren't so proud."

Carol always called John by his middle name, Morris. She said John sounded common and Johnny, childish. At first he'd liked that she had a special name for him. But lately when she called him Morris, he felt she was talking to some alter ego he'd never met. So he sat quietly and waited for this mythical Morris to reply.

John wondered if Construction Man was married, and if so, if he endured this crap. Probably not. He probably returned home each evening with a brand new beauty on his arm, until one midsummer's eve he crossed fates with a Debra Winger look alike, all soft brown curls and chocolate eyes, who moved in soon after. She secretly longed for a ring, a promise, but was too demure to ask. Construction Man was tempted to propose marriage, but thought better of it. He knew their love must be given freely, or not at all...

Carol's voice snatched John back into the room as surely as if she had jerked his necktie. "God, I hate working second shift," she whined, slumping into a chair. Red lacquered fingernails worried blonde ringlets that cascaded across her shoulder. "I swear, I must have the worst job in all Chattanooga. I should have stayed in school and let you support us."

Talk of finances reminded him of the upcoming rent. He thought, too, of the money owed his dealer. His wife's check would cover one or the other, but not both. If he paid the dealer, would the landlord evict them? If he paid the landlord, would the dealer slam a desk drawer shut on his fingertips?

Carol muttered something unintelligible, snatched her purse from the table and left for work.

#

John watched the clock until his wife had been gone precisely fifteen minutes. He stashed his book bag in the closet and strode to the bedroom. Reaching beneath the bed, he removed a mirror that was larger than a compact, but smaller than what hung on the walls. A razor blade lay atop the mirror. The surface was wiped clean.

He carried the apparatus into the kitchen and stepped on the pedal of the trash can. He hesitated, then dropped the blade inside. Next he walked purposefully to the window, opened it, and slung the mirror as hard as he could against the brick wall across the alleyway. To his dismay, it struck the wall on its edge and fell unbroken to the street below where it landed on a cushion of castoff cardboard. John fancied he saw a face in the mirror, grinning up at him. He pulled the window shut, turned, and sat on the sill. His breath came fast and his forehead was slick with sweat. Looking up he saw Jesus on the wall opposite, kneeling to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane.

John returned to the kitchen, his hair sticking out from the sides of his head like rays from the sun in a child's drawing. He fetched a bottle of Chivas and a highball glass form the cupboard. Crossing the kitchen, he stopped in mid stride and stood chewing the hair on the back of his hand. He returned to the cupboard, replaced the bottle and glass, and vanished into the bedroom. When he reappeared, he wore what Carol called his "slumming clothes": a pair of denim pants, a shirt with no tie, and boots.

An hour later his Camry crossed the Alabama line. It entered a gravel lot and parked next to a portable sign that read, "The Wagon Wheel". The second e was missing, but the message was clear.

Like the sign that advertised it, the bar and grill sat on a trailer. A porch had been added, fashioned from rough cut two by four's, and a wooden wagon wheel hung from the railing. Straightforward enough, John figured.

He sat with his lips parted and stared at the front door. As if suddenly remembering an appointment, he glanced at the seat beside him. A pint of Maker's Mark nestled beside a plastic bottle of Seven-Up. John took a sip of each and got out of the car. He locked the car doors, and the horn beeped as he walked away. He climbed the steps, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

As the aluminum door swung shut behind him, he had the feeling of being naked before strangers. Two old men at the bar, the bartender, and a waitress swiping a cloth across a tabletop all turned and stared. One of the patrons wore a ponytail that trickled out from beneath a straw cowboy hat. The other was hatless, his hair neat and secured with Brylcreem. Both men wore plaid shirts, faded Wranglers, and cowboy boots with pointed tips. The cumulative effect was that of rugged men's wear, in contrast to John's Calvin Klein denims, pressed cotton shirt, and Timberland footwear. His hesitation snowballed into naked fear.

The bartender spoke. "Grab a seat, young un, and Karen'll be right with ya." John knew tables and booths should be reserved for larger parties, but he didn't want to join the gang at the bar. Since the place was nearly empty and it was already eight o'clock, he stepped around the pool table that occupied the center of the room and sat in a booth.

The waitress approached, wiping her hands on an apron and smiling. "Name's Karen. How are ya?"

He offered a weak smile and nodded.

"What can I bring you to drink?" she asked.

"I'll have a bourbon. Maker's... No, Jim Beam," he decided. "Make it a double, and a Miller on the side. High Life, not Lite."

Karen rewarded his selection with a smile and strolled off to fill the order. John watched her walk away. He released his breath and turned towards the guys at the bar. On a television screen above their heads, a youthful Jack Nicholson sporting 60's era sideburns climbed into the bed of a delivery truck to play Chopin on an old piano. The bartender changed the channel as his drinks arrived.

He tossed down some of the bourbon. It burned, but he recovered with only a small cough. The cold beer tasted good behind it. The muscles in his shoulders began to relax as he finished the whiskey. He burped silently, with his mouth closed, and signaled Karen for another double.

Sometime later that evening, Construction Guy arrived. John wasn't sure when because he'd placed his wristwatch next to the restroom sink as he washed his hands and somehow lost it. The cock on the wall was no help, either. It was only a blur.

John was certain the latest addition to the party was Construction Guy. He could tell by the way the fellow dressed, all metal and leather, by the deliberate way he ambled in and waited until he was leaned against the bar before removing his motorcycle gloves. (Why hadn't John thought of that before? Construction Guy rides a Hawg!)

Karen delivered John another round. He raised his shot glass and toasted her departing rear end, which was looking better all the time. He resolved to take her home come closing time. Construction Guy was going to see what ole John was made of.

He chuckled, proud of himself. He looked down at a puddle of beer on the table and got lost in it. From there the evening progressed like previews of a movie, flashing from one scene to the next with only the vaguest connection between. The pony tailed cowboy was standing nearby saying something about treating Karen, the waitress, with respect. John had no awareness of traveling from his seat to the doorway, but when the gravel parking lot chewed his knees and landed a haymaker upside his head, alertness returned. He rolled onto his side, curled his knees against his stomach and lay laughing.

#

The next day, John's kneecaps looked like Tennessee Pride Real Country Sausage. The bandage on his head kept coming loose, and he was suffering the Stone Mountain of hangovers.

At the head of the class, Dr. Tallmadge pointed at the blackboard with a yardstick. The equation was incomprehensible. John couldn't remember what the various terms represented, much less how they related to one another. He tried to focus on the instructor's words, but they were distorted like the voice of an adult on a Peanuts cartoon.

The class was Dynamic Systems 305. The first week, Dr. Tallmadge had used a quadratic equation to model the motion of an object attached to a spring that moved through a medium. John had found the analysis straightforward enough. The second order term was the acceleration of gravity, the first order was the spring's coefficient, and the damping action of the medium provided the constant. But during the second week, the instructor began to apply differential equations to analyze electronic systems. John had struggled with differential equations in math class, and as for electronics, he had no intuitive grasp, nothing concrete on which to hang his understanding.

The fifth week of class found him hopelessly lost. The subject matter seemed utterly intangible. The class was like a speeding train, and he stood on the station platform craning his neck in a futile effort to catch a glimpse inside the most recently passing car. The metaphor made his neck hurt. He rubbed it and leaned back in his desk to look out the window. What did Dynamic Systems have to do with designing a parking garage, anyhow?

As he examined the skeletal structure across the roadway, he thought of Construction Guy. He wondered what floor the man was working on today and if the hombre at the bar had really been the same fellow. He had felt certain at the time, but according to the principles of Probability and Statistics 202, probably not. He wondered if Construction Guy suffered for two days whenever he got drunk, or if upon awakening he had only to shake his head to clear it before flexing his biceps and tossing his toolbox into the back of his pickup truck.

A prolonged silence in the classroom brought John hurtling back inside the window. Dr. Tallmadge was looking at him, as was the young lady in the next row. The instructor must have asked him a question. "I, ah, I'm sorry, Dr. Tallmadge," John stuttered, "Could you repeat that, please?" The professor rolled his eyes, turned to the girl and nodded. She responded that a Laplace transform was necessary to describe the effect of the various stimuli upon the capacitor in question. John knew leaving class was a bad idea, but he figured puking on the floor would be even worse, so he hurried out the door towards the restroom.

#

Carol squinted at the strip of paper in her hand. She tossed it into the toilet and flushed. "Praise the Lord, at least I'm not pregnant," she announced.

"We could try some more."

She cut her eyes at him, but said nothing. She crossed the hallway into the bedroom and began placing clothes inside a suitcase that lay open on the bed.

"How long will you be gone?"

"How long? I don't know," she replied. "I don't know that I'll ever return."

John looked at his Timberlands, moping. Carol preferred him in loafers. He yearned for a pair of boots, real cowboy boots with pointed toes like the guys at the Wagon Wheel wore. So he wore Timberlands, and no one was satisfied.

Carol snapped her suitcase shut, lugged it out of the bedroom and placed it beside the front door. "I'll be back when you change your ways," she proclaimed. "I'll be back when the rent is paid in a timely manner, by your hand rather than mine. In other words, Morris," she lisped, oblivious to a speck of saliva clinging to her lip, "I'll be back when you grow up."

"Give your mother my regards," he called as she reached to close the door behind her. The latch clicked, and he was alone. He walked to the closet, removed a large cardboard box and began to pack his own belongings.

#

Midway through the second week, the East Ridge motel room was a dump. A thin, rectangular shaft of morning sunlight leaked past the drapery onto a table top littered with pizza boxes and potato chip bags. A mound of cigarette butts overflowed an ashtray and spilled onto the nightstand. "Damn things smell like my mouth tastes," John said with a groan as he stumbled toward the bathroom.

He had to brush his teeth twice, and finish a can of beer left over from the previous night, before he had confidence to brave the lobby for coffee and a newspaper. When he returned, he began sweeping the table's refuse into a plastic garbage pail.

He glanced at the styrofoam cup in his hand. "This coffee is grounds for divorce." He'd always loved that joke, but, somehow, today it wasn't funny. He slumped into a chair. The plastic cover made crinkling noises against his back. He wiped his eyes and rubbed his forehead. There was nowhere to go but forward.

He placed the chair on the sidewalk outside the door and balanced the ashtray on its arm. After retrieving an ink pen and some mail from his car, he sat down and opened his grade sheet. Dynamic Systems Analysis showed an F. He crumpled the paper, set it alight, and dropped it into the ashtray. Next he crumpled a past due notice from his landlord and burned that as well. Finally, he repeated the ritual with a letter from his estranged wife, a note that spelled out the timing and conditions of their divorce. Each flame began modestly, consuming only a corner of the paper, then peaked into a great leaping blaze that covered the entire sheet before collapsing again into timidity and ash.

Returning inside with the chair, he spread the want ads across the bed and began methodically searching for job prospects. Periodically he sipped his coffee. His courage grew with each swallow, in direct proportion to the caffeine that entered his bloodstream. By midmorning he was ready to start calling.

He dialed the first number. A woman's voice answered, curt and efficient. "Headrick Brothers Construction. How may I direct your call?"
"I, ah, I'm calling to inquire as to your procedure for applying for employment," he stammered.

"Yes sir, and what are your qualifications?" the voice immediately responded.

"Qualifications? Well, until recently I was an engineering student..."

"Do you have a degree?" After only the briefest pause, the voice continued, "I said, do you have a degree? We have an opening in structural design, but the position requires a bachelor's degree in engineering."

"No. No, I don't have an engineering degree."

"The engineering division also has an opening for a draftsman..."

"Oh, that's great."

"...which requires certification from an accredited technical school. Are you a certified draftsman?"

"Certified? I can draw, but... well, no, I don't have a tech school certification. See, I really wanted to be a Construction Guy, anyhow. I mean, I wanted to work as a laborer." John lowered his voice, aiming for a gruff tone. "You know, flex my muscles outdoors, hang steel and stuff like that."

"Can you weld?"

"Weld?"

"Yes," the woman replied with a sigh. "Can. You. Weld."

"Umm, no."

"Then tell me, what qualifications do you have to become an employee of Headrick Brothers Construction?"

"Well, ah, I don't know. I guess I don't have any."

"I'm sorry, we only hire unskilled laborers through temporary employment services. Have a nice day, sir." The line went dead.

John stared at the classifieds page. It was inked up with check marks and exclamation points throughout the Building Trades section. He opened the blinds and for several minutes stood watching the sun climb towards noontime. At length he whispered, "Well, Cowboy, here we are. What the hell you gonna do now?"

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Author bio: Randy Lowens' stories have appeared in A-Minor magazine,
Wrong Tree Review, Metazen's Christmas charity e-book, and elsewhere.
He resides in the central Kentucky city of Richmond.