Friday, May 15, 2015

Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Toxic People in Your Life

Idgie Says:
I have never been a follower of self-help books, preferring to use my own intuition, strengths and common sense.  This book was offered to me and I thought that this particular one might have value, helping me to read a stranger better in normal situations such a hiring, taking someone's word on a good deal/purchase, etc. 

While this book does share good points toward really knowing a person and their intentions, it needs to be taken with a grain of salt as it is rather in the vein of a scare tactic - if taken completely seriously, you may become afraid of every stranger you see. 

The Chapter "The Ax Murderer Next Door" will make you immediately question all of your neighbors!  I don't want my entire life to become a "Red Flag".

So my opinion - if you enjoy self-help books, read it, take note of some good and interesting points about reading people, but don't let it turn you into a paranoid alarmist about the world in general.


Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Toxic People in Your Life
Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D.
May 5th, 2015
St. Martin's Press

Book Description:
We all need emotional blinders: the etiquette that keeps society smoothly moving depends on it. But when you absolutely must rely on another person, you have to be able to assess them objectively. Red Flags shares simple strategies anyone can use to spot deceptive or downright dangerous people who use ingratiation and social convention to draw in and lull victims.

You need this book if you want to know if a potential boyfriend is trustworthy, are interviewing or hiring new employees, are selecting anyone to take care of your children, are lending money or property, or have partners in business – so, really: everyone needs this book!

Readers will learn how even the most skeptical of us use rose-colored lenses on those around us, in three sections:

-Blinded by Desire-from the alluring lenses of attraction and positive attention to the blindness of marital "bliss" and the distorted lens of delusion

-Overlooking Red Flags in a Professional Setting-how reassuring proximity and the false security of credibility and similarity can lead to costly mistakes

-Be Afraid of What You Can't See-the ultimate cost of wearing emotional blinders around the truly disturbed/criminal, from sexual predation to domestic abuse, stalking and cyberstalking

Readers will learn how to:
-Avoid selective attention
-Observe people over time (bad guys rely on first impressions)
-Ask questions: most people's favorite topic is themselves
-Cybersleuth to verify information and track down inconsistencies
You need this book if you:
-Want to know if a potential boyfriend is trustworthy
-Are interviewing or hiring new employees
-Are selecting anyone to take care of your children
-Are lending money or property
-Have partners in business