Celia Rivenbark
St. Martin's Press
October 22, 2013
Idgie Says:
Celia is the book world's Sasha Fierce! She is Erma Bombeck of the Dark Side. She has hit her "Idon'tgiveashit" period of life. This book is stronger in wording and tone than her previous books have been and I loved it even more for that.
This is an etiquette book for what you have always WANTED to say when someone asks you certain questions, but had not quite yet ingested enough wine to be this forthcoming. I'm pretty sure that Celia gives her replies on straight sweet tea.
She is all that I ever inspired to be. (True story - I always said that my dream job would be to write a column like Celia, which could be made into an amusing book one day. Before that I worshiped at the books of Erma.)
I have ALL of her books and have followed her faithfully - face it, we could all use an author that stands by our side and makes us snort and guffaw in an unladylike manner after a particularly down or bad day.
There is a link to an excerpt put up by Macmillan and I will say that I honestly do not think it's the best chapter - there are many that had me bent over laughing with tears running out my eyes. But it definitely has it's good points - all which will insult someone - but then again, that's what comedy tends to do, right? I have a taste of the excerpt below and I'm sure someone will get in a snit over the words, but better to be forwarned than buy the book and then have to burn it when you're all ticked off.
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.......Regarding eating with the picky crowd.
"There’s often an outlier, of course. There’s the pale friend who must have everything “gluten-free” or she will double over and collapse in a tower of her own shit mid-meal. This is always such a downer for the rest of the table. Maybe you could ask her to sit elsewhere? Like Indiana?
While we’re still in the restaurant, so to speak, let’s take a moment to remind one another that the waiter is there to do a job, not to hear about your “gastric bypass,” “lactose intolerance,” “gastroesophageal reflux,” “homoerotica fantasies,” and the like.
He or she also doesn’t need to hear that if he accidentally gives you caffeinated coffee, your heart will fly out of your chest and sit on the table, thumping away, while all you and your lunch companions can do is watch until it finally, mercifully, stops."
Full excerpt after book description:
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Book Description:
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