Monday, June 6, 2011



By: Bobby Sauro

I’m reading about the North Georgia crematory owner, as my fourth trip to South Beach since my last great girl traded me straight up for a life of uncertainty comes to a close. The sheriff discovered bodies, stacked like firewood in sheds, and everywhere else on the grounds except in the incinerator.

“See ya next time, Mo,” I say.

“Hang tough, playah,” Maurice the valet says and tosses my luggage into the trunk of the cab.

Behind the wheel is a young woman. I easily trap her eyes in the reflection. I glance at the bulging bag on the seat next to me and mumble, “I know. I carry too much paper around.”

It’s sunny in South Beach but the Miami airport is being hit with summer lightning strikes that claw at the control tower like a giant, jackdaw crow. Up ahead is the same unforgiving sky that hung over my last great girl. I thought she was coming back to me because she emerged from the black and blue clouds smiling, but she just kept walking, kicking up sand as she passed and covering me in a grainy film which, to this day, is still showing at the old theatre downtown.

“That’s like that Kafka story,” the well-read bartender at The Raleigh said after I told him I woke up one morning to my wife saying she was leaving, but she had no concept of where she would go. “She could have at least left you for some rich dude and given you a target for your hatred.”

I know more about Pablo Cruise than Pablo Picasso. My longest relationship was with the Columbia House Record and Tape Club from whom I bought every Hall & Oates album known to man for a penny. At first, I looked forward to the correspondence, but soon found their repeated demands that I purchase a Terence Trent D’arby album for $18 plus shipping and handling redundant. After several address changes, I ended my courtship with the Goon Squad from Terre Haute.

“Did you read about that crematory guy?” I say to the young woman driving the cab. “Instead of ashes, the urns were filled with cement dust.”

She’s wearing loose cutoff shorts; a man’s name is tattooed on her leg in scripted letters, like ones that cover half the windshield of old Ford Torinos.

“I think about getting a tattoo,” I say, “brand something deep right on my body, like how Megan Fox has that verse on her shoulder.”

“She’s awful pretty,” she says. “I thought about getting one too but my boyfriend won’t allow any others.”

“I’m probably too old anyway,” I say.

“Where you going to?”

“Back home to Atlanta. I love flying American out of here; because the flight leaves from the international terminal, I feel like I’m in another country. I get to explore the cuisine of foreign lands. Last time, I went to La Carreta cafeteria and ordered what I thought was a chocolate croissant but it was filled with some kind of leafy meat that tasted like cooked broccoli.”

“I go in there sometimes and get the glass bottles of Pepsi that have funny stickers on them and look like they got rejected by Mexico. I think about which country I’d go to if I won the Powerball. My lucky number is three so I pick the third departure from the top.”

We make it to the airport. We’re under a curved overhang so the rain can’t reach us. She drops her head and lets her Ashlee Simpson-red bangs fall over her eyes to express her loneliness in a Kafkaesque way I understand, where Kafkaesque means not being turned into a beetle but being trapped in the shadows of a charcoal sketch, drawn by a police artist long after a person has gone missing.

“My ex-wife dyed her hair red like yours one time,” I say.

“No one where I grew up in Yulee has hair this color,” she says.

She looks back at me until her phone vibrates. I can see on her face it’s another excuse. Circling to the trunk, I wave her off and bear the frayed and ridiculously heavy Samsonite myself. I'm off to my flight; she to her next fare, probably back to a South Beach hotel for an extra airport run.

She surprises me by tucking her pink Sidekick into the front of her cutoffs. I’m pleased with the effort she makes, hoisting my bag onto the curb with both hands. She smiles, waves, and hesitates.

Sometimes my ex-wife would go stay at a nearby motel. She wouldn’t let me in unless I pounded, I mean, pounded!, on the door until people were looking. After I assured the strangers that nothing was wrong, I’d enter the room and discover she had locked herself in the bathroom.

“You should leave him. Not for me. For your own sake,” I tell the taxi girl.

“You’re sweet,” she says.

She closes the remaining distance between us and places her hands on my chest.

“He won’t let me. Especially now that I carry his first born with me everywhere I go.”

I lose my balance and almost knock over a frail man from the Florida Tourism Board. He’s got a Polaroid camera around his neck. I’ve seen enthusiastic lovers take shots on previous trips.

“You two would make a cute couple,” he says, and hands me a small crate of orange gumballs with a miniature souvenir flag that says The Sunshine State.

“I can’t get enough of those gumballs,” she says.

“Have mine.”

She rips open the crate and I see a cupid wielding a knife tattooed on the underside of her forearm.

“That crematory guy must have lost all connection to people,” she says. “I like to help folks get where they need to go.”

With my flight likely delayed and no photos from my trip for the wooden box I keep such things in, there’s time to have a Polaroid of us taken right here and now, but what good would it do? Although the technology exists at any neighborhood drugstore to blow that small monochrome square up to an 11 by 17 full-size print, I doubt that either one of us will be getting out any time soon.


Author: Bobby Sauro

Bobby Sauro lives in Atlanta. He once worked in a nail polish factory

filling bottles by hand while inhaling an acetone cloud; that may explain

some of his stories. His short fiction has appeared in elimae, Burnt

Bridge, and Red Fez. His website (currently being refurbished),, has stories and blog posts about Bruce Springsteen,

stealing from maids' carts, Simone Weil, and 1980’s vending machines.  He

has attended workshops at One Story, Tin House and Writers in Paradise.