“Oh, Willie Dean thanks for the wonderful surprise!” Mom gushed. What the hell is it? She thought to herself.
“Mom I made it at school as my shop project.”
“Oh son it is lovely! She lied.
“Well, it’s something you should have.”
“I’ve wanted this very -- ER, thing for a long time.” She said. Hoping her words would get a clue what it was.
“Where should I put it?”
“That’s a joke, right, Mom. You know where it belongs.”
“Well, it certainly is a beautiful, handy thing to have.” She said stalling for time and racking her brains for some visual clue. Maybe it’s a hefty ashtray she thought to herself, but I stopped smoking three years ago, besides it sits on a bracket thing and turns with an electric motor.
He interrupted her desperate mental searching with a dreaded question. “Well, Mom what do you think, nifty eh!”
“It certainly is mind boggling” Oh for heaven’s sake. she thought. Maybe it’s a lawn ornament it does look dwarfish. No, grotesque is a truer word. It has got to be something else.
Before her son could quiz her further, the phone rang. She picked up the receiver, it was her husband. He called to see how she was. As they chatted about some trivial things, Willie Dean asked his mom to tell dad about his gift. Then he wandered off, and she could finally tell her husband about the ‘thing’ their son had made.
“What exactly did he make for you?” He asked.
“It’s indescribable --
“Sounds like you don’t know what it is. Try to tell me what it looks like?”
“Well, it stands about two and a half feet high and looks, well, it looks like…”
“Come on say it!”
“It looks like a spiraling laughing toilet.”
“No kidding? Can you be more specific?”
“It revolves and runs on electricity.”
“Wonderful, wait a minute I think I can visualize it. Yes, its for your hat collection, you tend to festoon the house with them. It’s a thoughtful and practical gift for you.”
“You got to be kidding me honey?”
“No sweet cheeks, I’d call it a ‘Silent Servant Revolving Storage and Daily Fresh Hat Selector,’ the very thing you need. What a gifted boy we have!”“Father like son.” She sighed.
Author: John Brooke