Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What the South Gave the World - A to Z



My own little take on what the South gave the world:

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This is my Ode to the South - a list of Southern-ness we so graciously decided to share with the rest of ya'll.

A - Ambrosia. A rather (to me) disgusting dessert product of jello, chunked fruit and some sort of whipped froth topping. Most Southerners love it. It tends to be the orange jello.

B - Billy Beer. Where else in the country can we get a President from a peanut farm who, as soon as he's President, has his ijit brother try to ride his coattails and make a beer that he names after himself. Sadly I was too young when it was out and I have no idea if it was any good or not.

C - Coke. That's right - straight from Atlanta thankyouverymuch. Find another place that can invent a nice refreshing drink with now illegal substances.

D - Determination. We are incredibly resiliant and determined people who on a daily basis still fight to overcome the effects of the "War of Northern Aggression". We have taught the rest of the world what is means to never accept "losing". :)

E - Empathy. We have the art of listening to another person go on and on with their problems until they're blue in the face from talking and our ears are bleeding. But we soldier through and keep that intent, sympethetic look on our faces the whole time.

F - Fried. Fried anything. We catch it, grow it, run over it, whatever........we'll fry it up and see how she tastes! I'm pretty sure we invented fried.

G - Gator Huntin. No need to go further with that.

H - Hospitality. We have invented the fine art of Hospitality. No where else can match it. We will cosset and entertain and comfort you until you are slapping us away screaming "Leave me alone!"

I - Ijit. A lovely word meaning Idiot. Most people outside the South haven't heard it a lot so you can say it easily in other parts of the country and people won't know you've insulted them.

J - Julip. As in Mint. As in a nice refreshing alcoholic beverage. Lovely.

K - Kudzu. Plant that ate the South. Grows only here, and in Japan. Okay, so maybe we haven't given it to the world, but they all see the pictures and are fascinated watching it eat cars, buildings and slow people.

L - Lard. I'm sure we invented that. It goes with the whole frying thing.

M - Monster trucks. Nothing better than a Monster Truck Ralley for good family times.

N - Nascar. Need I say more?

O - Okra. A very weird veggie that has a shape that sort of sets you back a bit, but cut it up and FRY it of course - yummy. Some like it boiled too, but it stays slimy inside and prefer to avoid that.

P - Plantations. Homes of such beauty that we fight to preserve them.

Q - Quesedillas. Oops. Wrong South. Never mind, I can't think of a Q.

R - Rotgut/Moonshine. Go up into our mountains. You can still buy it in a quart jar.

S - Sweet Potate Pie, Sweet Tea and Scarlett O'Hara.

T - Tipping. Cows that is.

U - Uncle Jimbo's Cheese Grits. Yummy! Never had grits? You're missing out!

V - Value of Friendship, Fellowship and Neighborliness. We got these down pat and we know how very important it is for the well being of the community. We also use the excellent term "vittles". Means food - any sort of food.

W - Watermelon wine - Yummy! I could also put wrestling here - but the Southern kind - "rasslin". (But that would be under R) Good stuff!

X - Xanax? I have no idea where it's made, but it seems like good stuff and it started with an X so there ya go.

Y - Yams, Yungins, "Yes Ma'ams, Yes Sir's, and of course.....................Ya'll! (I would like to point out here that I notice some people, most conspicously a magazine of that name, spell Ya'll, y'all. It goes with how ya say it. I have always said YA - all. Therefore I spell it that way. The others..... well, they're spelling it wrong. That's all I have to say on the matter.*

Z - Zydeco Music. Very interesting Cajun music. Very fun to dance to!

Alright ya'll - A to Z on the South. I hope you enjoyed.

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*See my additional notes on this fascinating subject under the tab at the top of the page, "About/Contact the Dew".

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