Tuesday, September 15, 2009

If I Could Change Some Things in My Life

If I could change some things in my life
I would change all the days I spent being a drunk,
But those days make the days I have now more realistic and peaceful.

If I could change some things in my life
I would take away all the time I used drugs,
But those days make me thankful to be alive today.

If I could change some things in my life
I would take away all the days I wished to be with my kids and didn’t make more of an effort,
But those days make me more conscious of why my kids are what they are.

If I could change some things in my life
I would have walked away from a lot of my fights with my spouse,
But those days make me realize winning the argument doesn’t mean you won.

If I could change a few things in my life
I wouldn’t have damned God as much as I did in my youth,
But those days help me know now God was watching over me even when I cursed him to Hell.

If I could change a few things in my life
I would have spent more of my youth learning instead of already knowing it,
But those “know it all” days really have made me wiser and willing to learn.

If I could change a few things in my life
I would go back and say I love you and thank you to the hardest working woman I ever met,
But even though I didn’t say it enough, I think she knew all the way to the end.

If I could change a few things in my life
I would have taught my kids to stand tall, better yet, you have to spend time on your knees,
But those days have taught me personally to spend more time there myself.

If I could change a few things in my life????

I don’t know that I really would change anything, my past makes me the man I am today.

And the man I look at in the mirror…I like, and I am proud that he has grown to be honest and loving, the man I am now realizes he isn’t invincible and doesn’t take every day for granted.

Sure, I could have done some things different but would I be what I am today?

I think not, and I’m happy with what I have become through all my faults, I have learned that perfection is a myth and my faults make me real.

____________________________

Charles Cole
http://www.myspace.com/hardworkingsingledad1

Charles Coleis a native Mississippian, now residing in Wheeler Mississippi ( "The closest thing to heaven I've found on this earth.") He is a recovered drug addict and alcoholic and has been sober for 10 years now. He has previously been published in Matergravy.com.