Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Hotter Than the 4th of July

I guess y'all know tomorrow is the official first day of summer, dontcha? You could've fooled this little old country gal. Seems I've lost track of the day of the week or even the MONTH since the great southern summer sauna of '07 began right after the late freeze in April. It's a wonder there's a tomato to be found anywhere but by golly I've got some. BabyGirl said it was a tasty one!Anyways...I'm sittin' here nekkid with the box fan blowing dreaming of fall. Now, Yanks can't even begin to imagine that kind of thing. Their summer doesn't start 'til it meets itself coming and going so they don't know a whole lot about beating the heat except for wearin' shorts and tank tops for a few days. South of the Mason Dixon, we sweat our butts off and attempt to look good doing it. This means minimal makeup and a short haircut, at the very least. Ain't nothing looks worse than a gal with her favorite shade of medium beige foundation smeared all over the sleeves of her outfit du jour. Bosses frown on it and potential boyfriends just plain run from the whole mess.

I read here yesterday about how to make jelly from kudzu "blooms" and I must say that I've lived in the south all of my life and have Never EVER seen any kind of flower on a kudzu pile. It will choke to death an innocent dogwood tree and cover up the dead, but dang if I've seen a flower. The blooms must be a delicacy in the far east from whence this prolific vine came. Their revenge for Hiroshima, I suppose. The Bible tells about all that tit for tat stuff and we sure do know how to listen up when it comes to the wrath of God and all.

We got your lightning bugs..and we got your cicadas with plenty of ticks and fleas on the side. All right here on the eve of the official first day of summer OH seven in Tennessee. Anybody got one of those paper funeral home fans they can pass me? I think I'm gonna need it this year. I'd prefer one with a picture of Jesus or Elvis on it.

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