Friday, July 22, 2005

Letters from Camp Chillmawilly

Ah yeah, it’s summertime and the living’s easy. Yall know how us folks in the South love to ‘recreate’, and being ‘natural’ people we do it best while in the great outdoors right up next to the soft bosom of Mother Nature herself. I’m including a photo with this blog post for illustration purposes and to embellish the overall presentation. And yes, this photo is the real deal. It was not ‘found’ on the internet somewhere and used here as a joke. This is an actual photo of the actual campsite of my actual close relative.

Just because we enjoy being outdoors don’t necessarily mean we enjoy the heat and humidity, as you can see from the photo. And yes folks, it IS the heat and not just the humidity. I’m using this photo on ‘loan’ from my close relative to whom I have promised complete anonymity to in order to protect the guilty parties. It’s not that she would care at all because she wears her redneckness like a badge of honor. I just thought it best in the tradition of Southern manners not to point any fingers while I’m airing our family laundry.

Above all else, rednecks are a resourceful bunch. How do you think duct tape became so popular? Heck you can find that stuff in any convenience store in the South. It’s even crossed over as a fashion statement and comes in colors now, including camouflage. But look closely at that photo friends, do you see the full-blown whole-house, Trane central air conditioning unit? That sweet puppy is set up at the camp site, complete with individual ducting to each tent, and yes it works perfectly!

Now I defy anyone to suggest that rednecks lack style. This, friends and neighbors, is how ‘well-to-do’ rednecks go camping, and nope my sweet young relative did not just win the lottery, she just spends her money wisely. You know how heat and humidity can wreck fresh makeup and a good hairdo. She always says it don’t cost a nickel more to go first class and her camping trips are just one example of that philosophy. You should see her decorate for Christmas; she has a flare for the ornate and an enthusiasm for quantity.

Yep, this air conditioned campsite is a sweet setup alright, and the bar & grill that goes with it is equally as classy. There’s plenty of finger licking good food and ice cold beverages for any taste. That’ll have to be another story though, ‘cause this is gonna wind up this week’s letter from Camp Chillmawilly. It’s time for a nice cool midday siesta in the command tent over there.